Taking her in for an assessment on Tuesday

[unicorn2014]

 

Last weekend while my d15 was missing I pulled all her records starting from kindergarten and found things like this from her kindergarten teacher

I would like to see d5 continue to see someone on a therapeutic level next year (through the school or social services) to help her to continue to cope with her personal issues

Then there was  her IEP that I requested in 2007.

This is a small sample of info from the psychoeducational assessment.

On the Behavior Assessment System for Children her teachers rated her in the at-risk range for aggression (one point away from being clinical), conduct problems, anxiety, externalizing problems, internalizing problems, atypicality, school problems, attention problems, learning problems.


On the Conners' Parent Rating Scale according to Ms. Unicorn

only one scale approached significance, with was the Oppositional scale (d7 may be likely to break rules, have problems with authority and become easily annoyed.

On the Piers-Harris Children's Self-Concept Scale

However, qualitative analysis of her responses suggests that it is possible that some of her relatively high scores may be consistent with defensive denial of an emotional disturbance in an attempt to mask real difficulties.

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I requested another IEP for her when she was 12 but the school district refused.

This year I requested an IEP for the 3rd time, after she went missing 3 times, was caught smoking pot, and a host of other problems at school like being bullied, tardy, truant. Her guidance counselor requested a copy of her records from her first psychoeducational assessment.

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One of the people I reached out to last weekend when she was missing was her kindergarten counselor who is a school psychologist at the middle school level and she referred me to someone she knew at the county mental health services for youth and I am taking her in for an assessment on Tuesday. Her former counselor was very sad to hear about the turn things had taken.

My d15 does not want to go in for this assessment so I am anxious about getting her to cooperate.

People like my former therapist and my parental stress line volunteers have been telling me for years that she doesn't have a choice as to whether or not she wants therapy. I am hoping the county provides me with someone who is still willing to work with her even if she doesn't participate. I had taken her in for a few sessions years ago but because she didn't want to participate the intern said he couldn't work with her.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Kwamina]

Hi unicorn2014

When you take all those test results together, what do you believe this tells you about your daughter?

I am sorry she ran away again. She's back now, did she give any insights into her motivations for taking off again? What do you think is the main reason she stayed away from home this time?

[unicorn2014]

Kwamina wrote

When you take all those test results together, what do you believe this tells you about your daughter?

She had a lot of at risk factors according to her teachers on the BASC. I had actually requested a second IEP for her in 2012 after a self harm incident but it was denied.

Last weekend when I read some of the results out loud to my partner was the first time I shared them with anyone, followed by sharing them here.

I am sorry she ran away again. She's back now, did she give any insights into her motivations for taking off again? What do you think is the main reason she stayed away from home this time?

It was impulsive , she definitely has that trait in spades. She stayed away because the police were looking for her.

[Kwamina]

There is a lot going on and I understand your concerns for your daughter. I hope you'll be able to find a solution that will bring some peace for both you and your daughter.

You mention her self-harming back in 2012, was that the first time she did that and did she ever do anything like that again? Did she get any help back then to help her deal with the self-harming tendencies?

[unicorn2014]

Kwamina wrote

There is a lot going on and I understand your concerns for your daughter. I hope you'll be able to find a solution that will bring some peace for both you and your daughter

the assessment is tomorrow morning. I'm also waiting to hear back from her guidance counselor as to whether or not the school district will do an IEP. Now that she is in high school she is in another school district so I'm hoping that works in her favor. The place were going tomorrow to get assessed accepts our health insurance otherwise we would be dependent on an IEP to access their services.

Kwamina wrote

You mention her self-harming back in 2012, was that the first time she did that and did she ever do anything like that again? Did she get any help back then to help her deal with the self-harming tendencies?

yes and no and yes. I remember exactly where I was and what time of day it was when I talked to the middle school counselor on the phone about it. Her friend had actually reported it to me . I remember exactly where I was when I looked at her arm. I remember her response . She was working with a school counselor and like I said I tried to get her into outside therapy but she wasn't willing to participate so they dropped her.

I just got a reminder call from the assessment team, and I asked them what it would consist of and they said it was to find out what was really going on and talk about her symptoms. She thinks her behavior is perfectly normal (shoplifting, running away, self harm, smoking marijuana ) and that the problem is my introversion .

[Sunfl0wer]

Humm... .  My mind is foggy today but I'll try... .

It is my understanding that the IEP team meets to discuss ways and strategies for success within the school learning environment. 

While they can arrange for assessments and such, their focus and intervention is limited to just looking at services to enable your daughter in an educational way.

They do not provide a comprehensive plan for all issues that your daughter is likely faced with in her life.

My point is, that when my niece was being tested, she needed more help than the school was offering.  They just didn't deliver all assessments that I felt she needed.  They restricted their assessments of her to just things 'they felt' were 'educationally relevant.'

Yes, what they did do was of tremendous value and ONE part of the help needed.  I am just pointing out that the school based assessments are often limited and have an important place in the bigger picture of things.  She may still need more help than this, but it sounds like starting at the school is a good way to try to get her compliant with something as in the past she did see a school counselor when unwilling to see outside one.

Is your daughter still attending school when she is not coming home?

I vaguely recall you maybe mentioning in a past post that she gets very high marks.  Have her grades suffered?

What are your educational concerns for her?

[unicorn2014]

They do not provide a comprehensive plan for all issues that your daughter is likely faced with in her life.

I think I failed to communicate here. I am taking her in for a mental health assessment, not an IEP.

Yes, what they did do was of tremendous value and ONE part of the help needed.  I am just pointing out that the school based assessments are often limited and have an important place in the bigger picture of things.  She may still need more help than this, but it sounds like starting at the school is a good way to try to get her compliant with something as in the past she did see a school counselor when unwilling to see outside one.

I appreciate your concerns.

Is your daughter still attending school when she is not coming home?

I vaguely recall you maybe mentioning in a past post that she gets very high marks.  Have her grades suffered?

What are your educational concerns for her?

Her running away is not chronic. She has only missed two days of school due to running away.

Her last report card was not good, I am concerned because she is a sophomore and I want to get her back on track before her junior year.

[Sunfl0wer]

Oops... .yes, it appears you communicated just fine.  I see where you say the place accepts your insurance, hence not IEP.  Well this sounds great!

Did I miss you saying if D was going to go?  What she thinks or how she responded to this so far? 

(If you did... .I am missing huge chunks and will rest before typing anyone this eve... Brain gets mushy at times :P)

[unicorn2014]

Oops... .yes, it appears you communicated just fine.  I see where you say the place accepts your insurance, hence not IEP.  Well this sounds great!

Did I miss you saying if D was going to go?  What she thinks or how she responded to this so far? 

(If you did... .I am missing huge chunks and will rest before typing anyone this eve... Brain gets mushy at times :P)

It is an assessment of her so she has to go and she is not happy at all about it. She thinks that all that teens shoplift, run away, smoke pot, and get citations for it. She thinks its my fault for remembering those things and if I forget about them they will just go away.

When I am out on my phone I copy and paste what I am going to respond to in a note and then post it on my phone, while previewing it first. I too have gotten in trouble by misunderstanding messages I have gotten on my phone.

[Sunfl0wer]

I can only imagine that the place must be used to teens who do such things and also are reluctant to get help.  Hopefully their experience will allow them to get the info they need and offer something useful.

Good luck!

[unicorn2014]

I can only imagine that the place must be used to teens who do such things and also are reluctant to get help.  Hopefully their experience will allow them to get the info they need and offer something useful.

Good luck!

Thank you I hope so and I need it. I'm not at all looking forward to this tomorrow. When I was her age and I ran away it was to a youth shelter to get help because I was suicidal. I even offered her the name and address of the same youth shelter when she ran away (we were communicating by text) and she wasn't interested. My reasons for running away and her reasons for running away are very different. I was running away from my abusive mother, I believe she is running away from herself. She didn't even reach out to her dad or her uncle while she was gone, despite the fact she told me she wanted to go live with them. She didn't even return her dad's calls or texts.

The other thing I am doing is taking a parenting class with a local police department that I also told her father about and he is taking too. In fact the first class was last week and I missed it due to her being sick but he was able to go. Its the first time he's ever taken a parenting class and he told me I was doing most of the stuff already. I suspect this class will be more beneficial for him even though I'm the one who signed up, the MFT in charge said it is better if both parents attend. I took a parenting apart class on my own that he refused to take.

So far I have not heard back from her guidance counselor on the IEP.

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As an aside today I cracked open the book The Power of Validation and oh did that make me feel powerless. I was a  divorced  parent for the whole of her emotionally formative years (4-12) who was struggling with my own issues of PTSD and other things. I may make a separate post about that book later.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[sparkles mom]

Just in case the school system fights you--I'm a school administrator with a 16 BPDD.  If they say your child does not qualify for an iep then can have a 504 plan put in place.  Same regulations and safeguards without having to have an educational/learning goals.  Had to do the same for my child for her eating disorder 2 years ago.  Do not let them tell you otherwise.

[unicorn2014]

Just in case the school system fights you--I'm a school administrator with a 16 BPDD.  If they say your child does not qualify for an iep then can have a 504 plan put in place.  Same regulations and safeguards without having to have an educational/learning goals.  Had to do the same for my child for her eating disorder 2 years ago.  Do not let them tell you otherwise.

Thank you for that, I'm taking a two fold approach to her mental health, asking for a second IEP and also taking her in to the county tomorrow for a mental health assessment. If the county takes her case and treats her, that's good enough for me. I have been unable to successfully get her started in therapy in a private nonprofit organization   so I'm hoping I'll have more success with the county. I just hope we get out the door tomorrow morning and are able to make it to our appointment. I pray she cooperates.