16 and struggling

[sparkles mom]

Hello.  Our child is just turned 16.  Has tried suicide 3 times, major hypersexual behaviors, lying, stealing, eating disorder... .screams BPD when looking back at the past two years.  My husband and I have had to "give" her up to the state to get help.  As parents with commercial insurance we got nowhere.  Now financially and emotionally broke and trying to keep things as normal as can be for the other child and maintain our own sanity... .

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[pessim-optimist]

Oh, sparkles mom... .  :'(

That must be so incredibly hard on you, guys! Are you saying that the state moved her/or is going to move her out of your home and perhaps put her with a foster family, or somewhere else? Do you have contact with her?

Please do not beat yourself up over this situation... .BPD is one of the hardest disorders to deal with within the family, and there are many parents who come here at the end of themselves with trying to help their children, and funding for therapy is often hard to get.

How are you holding up?

[lbjnltx]

I was once told the same thing in regards to getting inpatient long term care funded... .that I would have to give up my parental rights.

So sorry that you are in this position as well. 

What does the "state" plan to do to get your daughter help?  Any plan in place yet?

[sparkles mom]

A referral has been made to the only state run RTC.  If she does not get in there or not successful there will have to go out of state, most likely to a facility called New Hope in S. Carolina.  Presently she is in a children's shelter awaiting placement.  Having good days and really bad days.  Not much of therapeutic services but they provide the 24 hour supervision that home/school could not.  I keep hoping we get her somewhere soon!

[pessim-optimist]

That must be so tough on you.   At least they are keeping your daughter safe for the moment... .

I keep hoping we get her somewhere soon!

Do you have any say or input in where she will go?

[sparkles mom]

Update: she is still at shelter.  Referrals have been sent to five other facilities.  Denied:  due to eating disorder x3 and one said she's too high risk for them.  She's normally compliant w authority (except us!).  She's not violent. 

Waiting for bed to open at the state facility.  Hate this waiting game.

[lbjnltx]

Waiting is the hardest part.

How is she doing at the shelter?

What do you think of the state RTCs ability to help your daughter?

[wendydarling]

Hi sparkles mom

Sending you and your family support and a huge HUG!  I have just realised your daughter has been at the shelter since beginning of December ... .how is she? Have they indicated how long your daughter might have to wait for a space to open.

How are you coping?

WDx

[sparkles mom]

She's been at the shelter (group home) since Oct 10 when she ran away from our house. Lots of struggles with other residents and staff.  Even the staff that likes her.  But she's still unable to see her part in these conflicts.  Many of her problems center around how she thinks she is on the same level as staff.

Rules, policies, and procedures are for others. 

I have heard good things about the rtc, hopefully soon she'll be there.  This week's snow >30 inches hasn't helped!