Serious lack in hygiene

[AnotherWon]

I'm just wondering to what extent some of you may be dealing with serious hygiene issues.  20 yo uBPDs was living far from us for a year.  He never had great oral hygiene (a battle that was just too hard to fight with him), but when he came back in December it dawned on me that he perhaps neglected his teeth the whole time.  I was mortified and obsessed over it for several weeks.  He's a smoker too (which kills me), so I am horrified at the thought of his oral and overall health.  He did agree to go to the dentist a couple weeks ago, but it got cancelled by the dentist for a family emergency of all things, so I hope to reschedule.  I'm wondering if this is pretty typical stuff?  I know depression can lead to this, but it almost seems to me like a phobia or some extreme lack of self respect or self-loathing on his part.

Thanks.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[twojaybirds]

My dd21's hygiene is pretty bad.  It is getting better but over all it seems to be last on her todo list.

Her boyfriend  'jokes' and says she would forget to brush her teeth if I didn't remind her."  And he is OCD so they compliment each other quite well.

She makes messes and he picks them up!  She is a wrinkled mess he irons for his bluecollar job.

[AnotherWon]

I'm hoping a little more frontal lobe growth will help, too!  What I don't understand is he had a serious girlfriend the whole time he was gone.  No idea how she could stand it, but that's another story cuz she was a piece of work.  I do gently remind from time to time, but try not to make an issue of it.  He needs a few dental implants soon, so maybe seeing all these different professionals will help.  As long as it's not coming from me!