Peacebuilders Program In Schools- Teaching Reslience

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Peacebuilders Initiative

S5 is in the middle of his kindergarten year. I put him into a city program for preschool and pre-K, and this is his first year in the California public school system, K-12.

When we first took him to the class, I noticed this thing on the wall which had a "Peacebuilder's Pledge." I didn't think much of it.

On the first Walk to School Day, I hung around for the morning assembly. There was a speech by our local County Representative, and another by some other type of suit.

After the Pledge of Allegiance, the kids all stuck their hands into the air, making the peace sign, and started chanting something which I couldn't quite make out. At first, it felt creepy, but the eyes of the kids didn't start glowing, and I know for sure that there aren't any cornfields on campus, so it was probably just me.

I attempted to get my son to tell me what he was saying, but he wouldn't. He's like that future informer? Have to keep an eye on him. So I started digging into it a little. This is the pledge:



This is the site: www.peacebuilders.com/

Me being Mr. Conspiracy theory, the peace sign is actually an occult symbol, I dug into it a little. I also cringe at anything that smacks of LGAT. I dropped out of at-risk youth mentoring because I had babies, but also because they tried to get me deeper into the program. When one coach started gushing about how the program had its roots in est, I didn't like that. I approach these things with a skeptical eye.

I'm giving this one a chance. That the program is "science-based" is interesting to me:

From: www.peacebuilders.com/media/pdfs/research/ScienceofPBBrainResearch.pdf

In one of the most famous studies on resiliency, Dr. Emmy Werner conducted a 31-year study looking at “at-risk” children. These children were exposed to many “risk factors” in their environments, such as poverty, abuse, substance abuse, mental illness and lack of education. Many of these children grew up having some of the same issues as their parents, resulting in a lack of success in interpersonal relationships, education and employment.

Yet, some of these children grew up to be “resilient,” that is, they were able to “bounce  back” from the risk and to be successful in relationships, education, and employment. The study focused on why some children “made it” and others did not. The most significant and profound factor in the lives of successful children was the presence of a caring, nurturing adult in their childhood; someone who believed in them and expected the best from them. Most often, this person was a teacher. PeaceBuilders teaches young

people to seek out these adults in their lives and to gain the skills and integrity to become the kind of adults who can provide this kind of care and dedication

to others.

Factors which contributed positively towards childhood resilience, as found in Werner's study:

• being first in birth order



• high activity level



• good-natured (affectionate disposition)



• responsive to people



• free of distressing habits



• positive social orientation



• autonomy



• advanced self-help skills



• age-appropriate sensorimotor and perceptual skills



• adequate communication skills



• ability to focus attention and control impulses



• special interests and hobbies



• positive self-concept



• internal locus of control



• the desire to improve themselves

When the same kids were studied at age 30, additional factors were found to produce resilient adults:

• emotional support from spouses



• emotional support from kin



• faith and prayer



• opportunities that enhanced confidence

Secondarily:

• Activity level



• sociability



• emotionality

It is interesting to relate these factors (or the lack thereof) back to my own childhood and how I turned out as an adult.

[Turkish]

Peacebuilders Initiative

S5 is in the middle of his kindergarten year. I put him into a city program for preschool and pre-K, and this is his first year in the California public school system, K-12.

When we first took him to the class, I noticed this thing on the wall which had a "Peacebuilder's Pledge." I didn't think much of it.

On the first Walk to School Day, I hung around for the morning assembly. There was a speech by our local County Representative, and another by some other type of suit.

After the Pledge of Allegiance, the kids all stuck their hands into the air, making the peace sign, and started chanting something which I couldn't quite make out. At first, it felt creepy, but the eyes of the kids didn't start glowing, and I know for sure that there aren't any cornfields on campus, so it was probably just me.

I attempted to get my son to tell me what he was saying, but he wouldn't. He's like that future informer? Have to keep an eye on him. So I started digging into it a little. This is the pledge:



This is the site: www.peacebuilders.com/

Me being Mr. Conspiracy theory, the peace sign is actually an occult symbol, I dug into it a little. I also cringe at anything that smacks of LGAT. I dropped out of at-risk youth mentoring because I had babies, but also because they tried to get me deeper into the program. When one coach started gushing about how the program had its roots in est, I didn't like that. I approach these things with a skeptical eye.

I'm giving this one a chance. That the program is "science-based" is interesting to me:

From: www.peacebuilders.com/media/pdfs/research/ScienceofPBBrainResearch.pdf

In one of the most famous studies on resiliency, Dr. Emmy Werner conducted a 31-year study looking at “at-risk” children. These children were exposed to many “risk factors” in their environments, such as poverty, abuse, substance abuse, mental illness and lack of education. Many of these children grew up having some of the same issues as their parents, resulting in a lack of success in interpersonal relationships, education and employment.

Yet, some of these children grew up to be “resilient,” that is, they were able to “bounce  back” from the risk and to be successful in relationships, education, and employment. The study focused on why some children “made it” and others did not. The most significant and profound factor in the lives of successful children was the presence of a caring, nurturing adult in their childhood; someone who believed in them and expected the best from them. Most often, this person was a teacher. PeaceBuilders teaches young

people to seek out these adults in their lives and to gain the skills and integrity to become the kind of adults who can provide this kind of care and dedication

to others.

Factors which contributed positively towards childhood resilience, as found in Werner's study:

• being first in birth order



• high activity level



• good-natured (affectionate disposition)



• responsive to people



• free of distressing habits



• positive social orientation



• autonomy



• advanced self-help skills



• age-appropriate sensorimotor and perceptual skills



• adequate communication skills



• ability to focus attention and control impulses



• special interests and hobbies



• positive self-concept



• internal locus of control



• the desire to improve themselves

When the same kids were studied at age 30, additional factors were found to produce resilient adults:

• emotional support from spouses



• emotional support from kin



• faith and prayer



• opportunities that enhanced confidence

Secondarily:

• Activity level



• sociability



• emotionality

It is interesting to relate these factors (or the lack thereof) back to my own childhood and how I turned out as an adult.

[HappyChappy]

Hi Turk,

This is interesting.

I can see why you would approach this with a sceptical eye. Bit of cheap & tacky website. But it was founded by a teacher and seeks to encourage peaceful resolutions. So that must be good ? Mind you still think Gandhi has the  best philosophy and sound bites on that issue and great to point out to children, that good things happen outside of America. I note some of the factors listed in “Werner's study” have been plagiarised (or proven prior to his study). Such as the first born theory. So on balance Turk, do you see this as a positive thing ?

[Turkish]

Can you rxpand upon the plagiarism, HC?

Someone called me today, confirming that S6 was going. She asked me to pass it onto my wife. I corrected her on that point, but said that we communicate well regarding the kids.

There are 3 seminars just for parents. I wrote them down quickly because I was just leaving work... I can't quite remember the first, but the second had to do with struggling with routines. The third had to do withbpocky eating. I said that this last one sounded interesting to me. I was encouraged to attend all three, but I said that both parents worked. She kind of back-tracked and said that we could certainly show up for one or two, but that they encouraged parents to attend all three.

I was reminded of my two years of mentoring at risk youth. They also had parent meetings, and mentors were encouraged to attend. With 3 kids each year, and every other Sat for mandatory meetings (leaving aside the "off-line" commitment time, which wasn't insignificant given 3 youths), I never made a parents' meeting. I probably should have...

I felt kind of triggered, like I was a man lacking in parenting skills. I do, however,.see the lack in our son's cohort. The teacher asks for snack donations for kindergarten. The school will feed aybody by not charging the parents. But I feel, "you can't afford $.40 for a piece of string cheese? Some grapes? An apple?" My BPD mom had me dumpster-dive for food at one point when I was 11 and 12. There are so many more resources now here in the USA.

Before I turn this into a political rant, all I can say is that I see some of this as parents not doing their jobs. I'm cybical, but also logical, but not unemotional. I've lived in the 'hood for 6 years. Some of our son's cohort are neglected. I see it. These programs may be, much as the at-risk youth program is for teens, necessary. Even before I had kids, I thought, "my missions as a father is to ensure that my children don't end up in such a program."

I'll, report back on how it went. The program starts in two weeks.

[HappyChappy]

Can you rxpand upon the plagiarism, HC?

From your post you wrote

“Factors which contributed positively towards childhood resilience, as found in Werner's study:

•   being first in birth order

•   ability to focus attention and control impulses

•   positive self-concept

These three point I remember from when I studied Psychology (long time ago). Also their list of attributes is so long, I doubt one study could credibly prove all these points. So it may well be down to syntax but I my guess (hope) is their study, pulled together existing research as well as their own. Otherwise it is technically plagiarism (which I doubt). However to their credit, the attributes on that list all sound credible. I think I would be triggered also Turk, but I hope it goes well.

HC

[Turkish]

Our son went through the camp. There is also a second phase to the program which occurs over Spring Break. They gave a bullet list of what would be on, but it's short on details. "Relaxation techniques," for instance. What is that: TM, yoga, Mindfulness for Children?

I finally talked to the school counselor, as she was there in the mornings at the sign-in table during camp. She says that S6 is doing well. I can't tell if it's helping him or not, but he's probably near the top of his cohort with regards to functionality.

What struck me is that she seemed surprised at me, that I'm different than the other parents. I was talking about how S6 is big for his age (95th percentile in height and weight), and that it was sad to watch him talk to 7-8 year olds who assumed he was their age, but that his mind was that of a 5 year old. I said that I was tempted to rescue him from their typical childish derision, but that he also needed to learn to deal with this himself or he'd never learn. She looked at me surprised and said, "That's good, most parents wouldn't get that." She also handed me a survey form on the last day. I turned it over and noticed it was already filled out on the Spanish language side. I handed it back right away. She said, "Oh, sorry. Wow. That was fast." Not to sound like a Narc, but we probably are at the upper end of the distribution given the typical parents in the program with kids they don't know how to deal with.

I'm ambivalent about sending him to the second part of the camp. Maybe because I'm cynical (I'm a Lone Wolf, after all), a lot of this stuff seems silly, and things that wouldn't need to be taught if the parents weren't doing their jobs at home:

www.peacebuilders.com/media/pdfs/ElementarySampler.pdf

[thisworld]

Hello Turkish,

I know that UNICEF and some 14 fourteen countries from East Asia and the Pacific to the Middle East and North Africa , had a four-year Peacebuilding, Education and Advocacy Programme from 2012 to 2015. I remember the Netherlands being a participant as well. The purpose of programmes went beyond what most parents could teach their children at home and were in line with political UN goals such as building a non-violent world, tolerance etc. Age-appropriate teaching goals in the classroom included things like bullying, peer-to-peer problem solving etc.

Below is one of the core materials and Unicef's page should have more info. about it. I know that the UN and Unicef fund this kind of stuff. I personally agree that recognition of "otherness" can be taught at schools much better than it can be in some homes. However, I of course don't know what tenets your kid's programme is built on. 

www.unicef.org/education/files/EEPCT_Peacebuilding_LiteratureReview.pdf

I personally believe in the use of these programmes. I have seen in European examples how children benefit from anti-racist education at schools and how folk racism starts showing up when this education is stopped at schools. But then again, I believe the foundation underneath the classroom application matters a lot.

In my country, these programmes are not treated as seriously in some war-zones for instance and the result is simply funny. You see children building peace in their classrooms where they sit in nice and friendly circles and as soon as the bell rings, they are back to swearing at each other and throwing tablets, androids, whatever they have at each other.

Give conspiracy a chance

[Turkish]

You had to mention the U.N., eh? Black helicopters, blue helmets,.and pardon me while I don my tin foil hat 

I did some more searching, and I saw that this is a widespread initiative. I'm not the home-school only type, but I'm curious about what you think can be taught about what most parents could teach kids at home?

[thisworld]

Yep, I had to direct the conspiracy theory to the right target for purposes of accuracy Also, countering a fear with 5 bigger fears always helps me:))

I think the issue is that most parents cannot teach their children certain things that they themselves are not aware of. Ultimately, I guess, this ties with the question "Who does a child belong to?" It may seem easy to answer that on the surface, (Why, to the parents of course) but the degree the state (tin foil hat alarm ) chooses to interfere with the welfare and education of a child (social services, standard curricula whatnot) shows that the answer may not always be that clear. In situations that objectively put the child in danger, it is easier to answer. But then in education, where we need children to thrive "objectively" some support may be necessary depending on the context and the country I think.

If it was left to me, I'd educate ALL parents across ALL countries on how to offer validation to a child as many parents don't seem to be aware of what they are doing in that regard for instance.

[Turkish]

I agree with you, TW, about the validation skills. My Ex can be good at it, yet she goes old school sometimes. At S6's birthday party, he was upset over something. O had him on my lap, he covering his face with his hands to hide. It was time to present him to the party with all of the relatives to cut his cake and take pictures. She got frustrated and said, "you need to toughen up!" There is validity there, but he got knocked over in the Jumper. I was trying to walk the line between validating/comforting, and not enabling a long dysregulation. She was triggered about the "script" being altered. Isn't it a mom's job to comfort? I once told her about a time when kids in his class responded positively to me. She replied, "of course, you're a dad." A role? I've always been good with younger kids, even when I was a kid. I'm hijacking my post... .

Today, a girl called me asking if S6 was going to attend Part 2 of Peacebuilders. I said that I had seen the flier, but that I'd like more details about what the program was and what specifically they were going to do.

"Well, we sent a flier, did you see it?"

"Yes, but it had just three bullet items, no details. Do you have more info on the specific activities?"

"We have just what's on the flier."

"I may have lost it. Can you email it?"

"I don't think we email things."

"Can you just snap a pic and text me a pic of the flyer?"

"I'll have to check with my manager. You know, your son was nominated by your school counselor to attend this second session." FOG! Felt like a telemarketing call: "you've won a vacation! Come claim your prize!"

"Ok, but I'd like some details on the activities in the program."

"We'll get back to you." *click*