damned if you do damned if you don't

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Seems like my thoughts go from the crazy way things were and how impossible our r/s was then thinking how bad I miss her and the few good times. Maybe this is why it takes me so long to move on? Why on earth would anyone want to stay with someone who treated them so badly? So confusing so crazy.

We have a child together and when she found out she was pregnant she went into defence mode, basically turning me into the enemy. This child would save her life, she had a reason to go on and live. For the first six months I wasn't allowed to be with my son because of her constant treats and put downs. Telling me I would never be alone with him until he was 4. She would find a good dad for him.

I just walked away and then people started telling me how much my son needed me. How she would destroy him. So I filed for my rights to be with my son.  The judge gave me my full rights with no questions asked. She hated this, because she lost control.

I took my son according to the guidelines and eventually his mother and I started a relationship but looking back I was working and taking care of our son the majority of the time while she slept in late and layer around the house all day.

And now? The baby who gave her life is nothing to her. She sees him briefly maybe once a week or two weeks. I do not understand this change in her. People tell me to stop trying to understand mental illness. I grew up with a mean drunk of a father and a drug addict mother so I learned if I were to survive I better figure things out.

I'm learning to love myself, take care of myself and to use the word NO without guilt. Life gets better and my son and I are worth it. I do hope everyone here gets that freedom and hope and love you all deserve as well. God bless you all.

[JerryRG]

Seems like my thoughts go from the crazy way things were and how impossible our r/s was then thinking how bad I miss her and the few good times. Maybe this is why it takes me so long to move on? Why on earth would anyone want to stay with someone who treated them so badly? So confusing so crazy.

We have a child together and when she found out she was pregnant she went into defence mode, basically turning me into the enemy. This child would save her life, she had a reason to go on and live. For the first six months I wasn't allowed to be with my son because of her constant treats and put downs. Telling me I would never be alone with him until he was 4. She would find a good dad for him.

I just walked away and then people started telling me how much my son needed me. How she would destroy him. So I filed for my rights to be with my son.  The judge gave me my full rights with no questions asked. She hated this, because she lost control.

I took my son according to the guidelines and eventually his mother and I started a relationship but looking back I was working and taking care of our son the majority of the time while she slept in late and layer around the house all day.

And now? The baby who gave her life is nothing to her. She sees him briefly maybe once a week or two weeks. I do not understand this change in her. People tell me to stop trying to understand mental illness. I grew up with a mean drunk of a father and a drug addict mother so I learned if I were to survive I better figure things out.

I'm learning to love myself, take care of myself and to use the word NO without guilt. Life gets better and my son and I are worth it. I do hope everyone here gets that freedom and hope and love you all deserve as well. God bless you all.