Getting my daughter to realize she has BPD traits and into treatment

[Sirhc]

Does anyone have any idea what I can do to get my adult 27 year old daughter to realize she has BPD traits and get her into Dbt therapy?  She shows all the traits except self harm, suicidal threats, and disassociation.  She had a bad break-up with a significant boyfriend a year ago. Very stressful on her and me because of her for a long time. She hates her job, wants to change careers but has no clue what to do next, has no real close friends, isn't in a relationship and has no good ways of meeting new guys. She is angry, depressed, miserable, difficult to talk to and often doesn't want to talk to me. Very beligerant and believes nothing will change for the better for her.  She sees a therapist sporadically, but not consistently and has seen several over the years, and doesn't give them enough info to diagnose. She recently told me that she doesn't thing she belongs here.  I am not in the same town as her. I am so worried.  I thought I had an intro into talking to her about "highly emotional ppl" and Dbt therapy, but she got angry and said everything that's wrong with her is our fault and that we need a therapist. Please any helpful ideas to help her ?TY

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[lbjnltx]

Hi Sirhc,

Welcome to the Parenting Board, I'm so glad you decided to join us and ask for help.

It is not advisable to talk to our undiagnosed children/adult children about our beliefs that they have BPD.  Most of the people we talk about here on the site are subclinical (ie traits and not diagnosable with the actual disorder).  That in no way means that they (and we, those that love them) aren't suffering terribly and are in need of help. 

One way you might approach the subject is just to talk about how our emotions can control our lives and slowly lead towards providing information you found helpful for your worries, emotions, and fears... .

"I found this website when I was google searching my fears... .www.dbtselfhelp.net "or I had a friend recommend a book to me that their daughter found helpful "You Untangled by Amy Tibbits" or "Calming the Emotional Storm: Using DBT Skills to Manage your Emotions and Balance your Life by Sher Van Dijk".

It may or may not prompt your daughter to go into DBT or even counseling more seriously and consistently.  If she doesn't visit the website or do the workbook then you still can.  It will help you deal with the very real and strong emotions you have due to your daughter's illness and her life choices.

We also have some videos and articles about getting our loved ones into treatment in Lesson 6 in the right side bar--------------------->

I know it isn't listed so just click on any of the Lessons and scroll down... .it's there.



lbj