walking the long road with my BPD daughter. just turned an adult

[Thelongroad]

Hello,

I have been through this journey of BPD with my daughter.  I feel myself becoming lost within.  I can be a tough love giver, but as I try to "rescue" her from her poor choices, I feel regret because there is no appreciation, gratitude or respect.  I was always her "safe" person, thus I endured most of the outbursts.

Now she is an adult living at home, but will randomly verbally attack us. 

I am trying to set boundaries, but how do I know if I am just being vengeful vs setting boundaries and consequences?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[lbjnltx]

Hello Thelongroad,

Welcome to the Parenting Board!

Setting boundaries is a big step in the right direction for families.  Each of us have our own boundaries, boundaries make for healthy relationships. 

Boundaries are based on our values.  Defining our values first can help determine what our boundaries are.  Here is some info on Setting Boundaries and Limits that may help you understand the ins and outs of boundaries.

https://bpdfamily.com/content/setting-boundaries

My d is now 19 and no longer lives in my home.  She has very strong boundaries as do I, it protects our relationship and keeps us moving in positive directions with our interactions. 

lbj