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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Court not worth it when litigious xBPDw has unlimited $  (Read 553 times)
trappeddad
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 110


« on: March 27, 2016, 06:00:24 PM »

The xBPDw has unlimited funds through her dad, loves litigation and will get over a dozen witnesses to lie about me.     I would be forced to depose them to get the truth out.    She also finds ways to extend litigation(motion to compel, abusive/lengthy interrogatories,etc.)    Since I have limited funds, I decided to settle.     Not worth spending $20k and only get a little more time.     My kid is not being abused so I do not see the urgency of court right now.

Does anyone ever see the merit to court when the ex has the $ to over-litigate and you have limited $?     This is given the child is not being abused.   

I will fight another day when I have more $   
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Turkish
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: "Divorced"/abandoned by SO in Feb 2014; Mother with BPD, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety: RIP in 2021.
Posts: 12183


Dad to my wolf pack


« Reply #1 on: March 28, 2016, 01:43:53 AM »

What do you see as "not being abused?" What's best for your child at this point?
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    “For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.” ― Rudyard Kipling
bravhart1
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
Posts: 653


« Reply #2 on: March 28, 2016, 01:49:13 AM »

Is there a pending litigation? For what?

I'm not sure what the question is, are you being asked to change something or give up something in regards to your child(ren)?
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ForeverDad
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: separated 2005 then divorced
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You can't reason with the Voice of Unreason...


« Reply #3 on: March 30, 2016, 05:20:44 PM »

Since I have limited funds, I decided to settle.

Understandable that your funds are limited.

What do you have now?  Equal time?  Alternate weekends?  What would a settlement look like?  Would a settlement be worse than a 'standard' schedule or worse than it currently is?

Just because she has funds to pay the lawyers doesn't mean you fail.  While courts do want settlements, this was not a normal divorce.  What's to prevent you from going yourself to court and telling the judge you need her to pay your legal (lawyer) fees due to her greater financial resources and unrelenting aggressive legal tactics?

I guess too that I'm thinking ... .Wouldn't a court's decision be better than what she's demanding?

I recall I had intense obstruction in the early years.  It was hard too for her to learn that My Parenting Time was really My Parenting Time.  But not as difficult as the sabotage you're having to deal with. :'(

Some parents here have found lawyers who will take "second chair", being available for consultations but not running the case in court except where really needed.
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