Phone safety?

[landslide]

We have a dilemma about cell phones.  My 16 y/o daughter gets into a lot of trouble with social media and related applications and does not respect limits when they are set.  We want her to have a cell phone just for basic safety and being able to communicate with us, but not allow her open access to continue unhealthy behaviors like going on hook-up sites or using apps like Kik to talk to shady characters.  We also can't afford her running up crazy bills by sending zillions of texts.  Is anyone aware of cell phone plans or security features that can provide some kind of happy medium?

 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[lbjnltx]

Hi landslide,

I'm not very tech savy so I don't know that I can offer much advice except to suggest getting unlimited texting on your phone plan to keep the bills down.

There may be some info in this article that can help:

The Difference Between Monitoring vs Spying On Your Children


lbj

[landslide]

Thanks, that was a very helpful thread to read!

[sparkles mom]

Technology for our child is like a drug.  We are not able to allow her any access.  Every attempt we have tried has failed.  Sites like KIK are horrible. 

[8daysAweek]

Hey landslide,

When I was younger, I had a problem with abusing smartphone privileges similar to your d. It was very concerning to my parents and believe me, I now feel so bad about everything I put them through.

How they handled it was very smart and effective.

They got me a VERY basic old school phone with no camera or internet option (very cheap at walmart by the way). They took away my iphone and put the sim card in the basic phone. It didn't even have a keyboard and I hated having to press the same button 3 times to get one letter and that really slowed down my texting.

I was still able to call and text but that was it. I have no resentment because I realize now that it was for my own safety and I actually thank them. 

-8days

[landslide]

Thanks for your input.  I agree sparkles mom, it seems like it just is fundamentally unsafe at the moment, and we are having to very strictly prohibit access.  8 days, it is really helpful to hear your standpoint, both from a logistical aspect, but also from a hopeful one, that maybe someday given healing, my daughter will understand that I am only loving and supporting her, not trying to punish and make her life miserable!