boundaries & limited contact

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

My BPD husband is moving out. After a year of "good" we have hit the brick wall again. Last year he moved to the garage for 6 months.  This year he's moving to a friend's farm that has a hunting cabin.  The friend is establishing boundaries and is very good with them.  I am not. Please share some examples of boundaries I need to consider. 

We have two teenage boys who are very understanding of their dad's disorder.  They are in favor of him moving out.  I already have legal papers, drawn up last summer, that outline custody and child support.  I plan to use those as a guide, however I need to know how to set boundaries for him coming to the house we own together, when he can call me or text me, as well as how often we can spend time together.  I'm no wall flower. I am a strong woman, hear me roar!   But this disorder has me totally sorry I married.  I don't plan to divorce this year or next.  I love him, I just can't live in the same house with him. 

[debyt]

My BPD husband is moving out. After a year of "good" we have hit the brick wall again. Last year he moved to the garage for 6 months.  This year he's moving to a friend's farm that has a hunting cabin.  The friend is establishing boundaries and is very good with them.  I am not. Please share some examples of boundaries I need to consider. 

We have two teenage boys who are very understanding of their dad's disorder.  They are in favor of him moving out.  I already have legal papers, drawn up last summer, that outline custody and child support.  I plan to use those as a guide, however I need to know how to set boundaries for him coming to the house we own together, when he can call me or text me, as well as how often we can spend time together.  I'm no wall flower. I am a strong woman, hear me roar!   But this disorder has me totally sorry I married.  I don't plan to divorce this year or next.  I love him, I just can't live in the same house with him. 

[Thunderstruck]

Have you thought about asking the ":)eciding" board or the "improving the relationship" board? They might have good insights.

One of the first boundaries DH set up was that he wouldn't be alone with uBPDbm (she started making a lot of accusations against him). Then he had to set up a boundary about communication (she was texting excessively, so he switched to email and eventually to Our Family Wizard).

Unfortunately, a lot of the boundaries were created after a negative event had occurred. DH wasn't good about setting them up ahead of time.

What about expenses? Joint bank accounts, credit cards, etc?