Do interventions ever work?

[Hebrews12]

My husband just talked with his ex-wife about uBPDd(38).  She said she and d(38) got in a fight on mother's day.  This was just about the time that all the drama was really ramping up between us and daughter.  My biggest fear is unfolding. Daughter is caught in a spiral and heading down and taking her family with her.  Has intervention methods like they use with 12-step programs ever worked on BPD's? 

She is preparing to leave a home she owns, sell it (she has little to no equity in it), buy or rent an rv, move across country and live in a park, so that she can adopt two more kids. 

I don't need to her accept her BPD.  I just want her to NOT DO THIS.  NOT like this ^, she needs a real plan. 

She says her kids are on board.  Well, that is a lie.  Her 15 year old is not on board with this.  The other's are 11 and 9 and 2.  How can they be "on board" with a life changing decision when last year they were still holding hands to cross a street, when one is still in diapers.

I can't breathe. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[lbjnltx]

You need to breathe Hebrews12... .without oxygen we cannot function mentally.

Deep cleansing breathes.   This is outside of your control, it is not your decision, I understand your worries and fears.  You're her step mom and you care about your grandkids.

Do interventions ever work?   I don't know if there have been successful interventions.  If there have been I am not aware.  For an intervention to be successful ALL the people in one's life have to be on the same page and willing to enforce tough boundaries.  This is very difficult to accomplish.

All we can really do is learn everything we can about BPD and hone our skills (communication, boundaries, radical acceptance, etc) and keep our side of the fence well manicured.  It's a lot of work and it takes time and ongoing commitment.

We do this for ourselves, our loved ones' who are affected by BPD, and our relationships with them all...

lbj

[qcarolr]

Hebrews12 -- just as lbjnltx described ----- KEEP BREATHING. My next question is where is the dad in this family? What other supportive relationships are available to the kids? Where does the D get her support from - emotional and financial?

These are the things that pop up for me. Grandkid stuff is the most painful. My dh and I are raising our soon to be 11 gd.

qcr Carol