How did you get through feeling both broken hearted and broken financially?

[michel71]

I have spoken with some lawyers and am getting the financial bottom line on how much it is going to cost me. It is not a pretty picture. I have not filed yet but I intend to soon and I am just trying to steel myself for the ___e storm ahead.
I have conflicting emotions of complete loss of a relationship that I thought was forever, of a spouse that I thought I could trust and of the broken financial condition that I will be left in.
IF you are farther along than I am in the process of divorce, how did you get through these two emotions? Were they conflicting truly or really one in the same? I am just needing to process this.
I suppose I might feel both sadness and anger together or separately at times.

[Herodias]

If you can actually get a lawyer who will charge you for the job and not by the hour- go for it! I am paying by the hour and it is a nightmare! You are just going to feel lots of emotions... .fluctuating between anger and sadness. It's just part of this... .Just try and move as fast as possible. The sooner the better... .you don't want them to think about any of it too long. Get a settlement agreement now if possible. Just be smart and don't let your emotions get in the way. They will manipulate you even now. Good luck. I finally got divorced, but now he is suing me over the settlement. It just never ends... .

[ForeverDad]

Perspective is helpful.  You're in the middle and feeling stuck, you need to find a way to be emotionally neutral so you have have objectivity.

Can you picture someone else, perhaps a friend who is facing your problem?  What would you advise your friend?  That is a method to strip away the emotional aspect of your situation, to help you be more objective than subjective, looking in from the outside rather than on the inside looking around.

You didn't get to where you are in one day, week or month.  You won't get out quickly either.  Concepts to recognize:

• Recovery is a process, not an event.
• The first step forward is usually the hardest.  The more steps you take on the Path to Recovery, the easier (less difficult) it will become.
• Even if you feel you're stuck and not making any progress, keep slogging along and in time you will discern your goal is getting closer and closer.