Fair support settlement

[half-life]

We are working on our divorce cooperatively. While there are bad feeling toward each other, we are still doing our best co-parenting. Now we are heading to the stage to divide asset and allocate income. We have a paralegal doing our paperwork and we plan to find a mediator to help work out the financial side. We are in California and have been married for 15 years.

Originally I have a high paying job and she made about half of what I made. After our children was born, she has stopping working for 10 years and I have been the sole support. We basically managed to get the ends meet. She recently started a part time job with some minimal income.

I am trying to figure out a fair settlement. I understand everyone's situation is different. But I am trying find some model and get a sense of what is expected and acceptable.

My proposal is to split the asset equally, which maybe tricky because most of it is equity of our house plus some cash. I will give her half of my income, perhaps more than half because she has the kids most of the time. My older son is expected to go to college in 7 years and the young one in 12 years. I'd want the support to end in this time frame.

What do you think about my proposal? What is your experience?

[whirlpoollife]

I live in an equitable state vs a community state so laws might be different. 
In my state they keep the spousal support and child support seperate.  Income can be imputed.  What she earned in the past within time can be what she is capable of earning. So the calculations for spousal support might start at the imputed income level.
I would not gift away half of your income in spousal suport. And then child suport on top of that.  If you feel the need for half of income in order to settle vs going to court and paying it to L's, then putting a time frame on the spousal support is a must.
For child support there should be calculations also with her income being imputed to have a start line.  Don't gift it away either.  I would rather be the one buying / saving for the kids vs giving that money to an PD x spouse who would spend it on themselves.

[ForeverDad]

What if you meet someone and decide to marry?  Could you start a new family with less than half your income?  What I'm saying is that you don't want to box yourself into a corner just because you're trying to be too fair, too nice, too whatever.

Our qualities that made us to stick it out and keep trying are also ones that can keep sabotaging afterward, our sense of fairness to the nth degree.  While you don't want to be a stingy meanie, also don't Gift Away more than what is appropriate.  Another way to look at it is that if you Obligate yourself to a high level of support, then you won't have much room financially to make Voluntary "above and beyond the requirements" gifts.

Besides, you never know the future.  Besides the future marriage potential mentioned above, what if you lose your job and are between jobs for a couple years?  Leave some financial buffer room for when the unexpected happens.  And if you gift her too much, she will have less incentive for getting on her own two feet.

[half-life]

Thank you for your input. I guess I am too committed to my duty to provide for my family.

How about the length of the support? Is there any guideline for that?

[HopefulDad]

I'm in CA.  Make sure you understand the law before making offers.  Note: I am not a lawyer and this is not official legal advice, so you should always verify the below independently... .

Assets: Everything acquired during the marriage is split 50/50.  You will have an uphill battle in court should you contest this.  You are not obligated to give her anything acquired before and after.  Of course you are welcome to do so.

Child support: You are only obligated to pay child support until each child reaches age 18, with extensions until the child finishes high school or special needs cases (e.g. learning disabilities, autism, down syndrome).  Should you disagree on amounts, a court would more than likely enforce CA guideline support.  You can calculate that number yourself at the state guideline calculator website.  The number obviously changes depending on % custody time and both of your incomes so if either of those changes, support should be recalculated.  The state uses a "best interest of the child" standard and will almost always defer to this number should your wife contest any lower amount in the future.  Be ready to offer this amount.

Spousal support: This number is negotiable.  The guideline calculator above will also calculate a spousal support number, but in this case it's more of a guide.  Most CA courts work to establish a spousal support plan that goes away after half the length of the marriage... .7.5 years in your case.  However, due to the length of your marriage, your wife will always have the right to contest her current spousal support for the rest of her life or until she remarries, even if the support plan has phaseouts.  She can legally waive this right, but expect to give her something in return (e.g. more assets, higher interim spousal support).  Personally, I think this is a good buyout.  Also note that while child support is not tax deductible for you, the spousal support is (and she pays taxes on the spousal support).

I suggest running some numbers at the above link so at least you have a starting point.  Separate the child support from the spousal support since the child support number is practically a hard law in CA, plus you need to know both numbers for tax purposes anyway.  Figure out a spousal support number you would be willing to pay and for how long (e.g. 80% of guideline for 7.5 years; 100% for 3 years, 50% for 2, then 25% for the the last 2.5; 100% for all 7.5 years with a waiver of future support).

[ForeverDad]

My marriage was medium length, 15 years when separated, 18 years the week of the final decree.  My alimony in the settlement was set to 2 months for every year, or one sixth the length of my marriage.  Probably that's on the low side, but I've never heard of more than half the length of the marriage except when it's a 20+ year marriage and even that is getting less common in most states.

Years ago alimony for longer marriages was inclined to be a "forever until remarriage or death" sort of perception.  These days, with affairs, long term BF/GF/AF relationships and some couples not marrying, the "until remarriage" concept doesn't work.  The post-divorce support for ex-spouses has shifted more toward the shorter term concept of helping the disadvantaged Ex to transition to life after marriage, that is, find a job or get career training, perhaps even a two year degree.

[half-life]

Thank you! This is very helpful.