My 12 needs an IEP. HELP

[BabyCrazy]

Well, I'm new here and really need some help.  My daughter is 12 and has been in and out of treatment for the past 8 months after a suicide threat.  She is diagnosed with BPD, ADHD, and depression.  She started school this week for the first time since January.  Her therapist says she needs an IEP, but the school claims she is only eligible for a 504 plan.  I have a meeting with the school next week but I have no idea how to advocate for her.  I am not even sure what she needs at school.  She was model student before this and has never demonstrated these behaviors at school.  She held it all in and then exploded at home !  Anyone here have experience with accommodations for these kids?  It is so nice to have a place to ask these questions!  Thanks.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Turkish]

Hello Baby Crazy,



Who at the school is disagreeing,  and do you perceive it as a lack of resources on their side?  This isn't a unilateral decision that they can make,  even if they are acting like it is.  We have a lot of material in the lessons at the top of the board which discusses this:

Educational Accommodations for Students with BPD

Has the T been in contact with the school,  and is there also a school counselor involved?

Turkish

[BabyCrazy]

Hi Turkish,

We have only just started this process, but the school psychologist is adamant that she does not qualify for an IEP.  I have read the materials on this website and it was very helpful.  I guess I am looking for suggestions on specific accommodations that would be beneficial, as well as how to establish her eligibility.  They keep saying she was such a good student last year and the problems are only at home and have encouraged her to keep them at home!  The first three days of school she struggled with anxiety from the crowded hallways of her middle school.  They have allowed her to leave her classes 5 mins early to avoid that, but the anxiety just doesn't go away that quickly.  Her therapist has offered to attend the meeting, but I still need to be prepared on the correct language to use to advocate successfully for her.

[Naughty Nibbler]

HI BABYCRAZY:  
I'd like to join Turkish in welcoming you.

I don't want to overwhelm you with links, but since you have a meeting next week, more reference material might be better.  The resources at the links below might give you some ideas and help you prepare for your meeting next week.

Best wishes.

https://www.understood.org/en/school-learning/special-services/504-plan/the-difference-between-ieps-and-504-plans

www.wrightslaw.com/advoc/articles/iep.bollero.hearts.htm

www.kidstogether.org/IEP/iepd-10-mistakes.htm

https://www.understood.org/en/school-learning/special-services/ieps/the-iep-meeting-an-overview

You might want to do an internet search for your particular state and school district for some local information.

[Bright Day Mom]

All good advice and very overwhelming.  Looks like you will be taking a crash course in the next week.

I've been thru this very same thing with my district... .unfortunately some districts feel entitled to "dictate" to families.  Each U.S. child is entitled to a free and appropriate education that is the law.  I would recommend you contact your local NAMI office and pick their brain. They may even be able to provide you with a contact and possibly assist you and /or join you meeting. 

I have learned thru our family's crisis that the we need to advocate for our children as the districts are less likely to spend the extra $$. 

[ibgecko]

Well, I'm new here and really need some help.  My daughter is 12 and has been in and out of treatment for the past 8 months after a suicide threat.  She is diagnosed with BPD, ADHD, and depression.  She started school this week for the first time since January.  Her therapist says she needs an IEP, but the school claims she is only eligible for a 504 plan.  I have a meeting with the school next week but I have no idea how to advocate for her.  I am not even sure what she needs at school.  She was model student before this and has never demonstrated these behaviors at school.  She held it all in and then exploded at home !  Anyone here have experience with accommodations for these kids?  It is so nice to have a place to ask these questions!  Thanks.

You have a legal right to request a special education assessment.  Some schools really and truly suck about their willingness to spend a dime of district money, so you need to really educate yourself on what you are entitled to.  It is very important that you request the assessment in writing (there are templates you can use all over the internet).  A verbal request can easily be declined.  A good school will tell you to submit a letter requesting the assessment.  A bad school will... .well you can see what they do.  If you did submit a letter, and they are still refusing to assess your child, then you have grounds to sue for Due Process.  Just say ":)ue Process", and they will start scurrying to accommodate you, .  Make sure you bring the letter to your meeting requesting the assessment, and they will be legally bound to perform the assessment.  Since this sounds like a difficult school, it would be helpful for you to bring any paperwork you have that references your daughter's diagnosis.  Academic performance is not the only barometer a school is required to consider for an IEP.  It is important to have one in place when dealing with a child with a mental illness, because there may come a point when the school cannot meet her needs, and without an IEP you cannot demand that they find (and pay for) an alternative school that is more appropriate for your child's needs.

I'm not an attorney or an advocate, but I went through 13 years of IEPs for my son (Asperger's, learning disabilities), and just requested an  assessment for my daughter (depression, anxiety, BPD traits and just admitted to a residential program). I'm lucky, because her school was thrilled to see the assessment letter when I gave it to them at my meeting.  They are extremely proactive in getting my child what she needs.  Unfortunately they are the exception, not the rule.  You'll have to fight for everything your daughter needs, but it's worth it!  Good luck to you, and stay strong 

[Quama]

I feel for you and experienced exactly the same thing.  Stay strong and fight.  The IEP makes a huge difference.  I went through the entire process for my child and the school denied the IEP.  It was such a slap in the face and things got much worse for us before they got better.  It could have been avoided.  We ended up moving to California, where I started over again and this time consulted with an educational advocate.  That was the best thing I could ever have done.  This person was so gracious that she gave me a ton of advice free of charge.  Would only have charged if I needed her to be there for the IEP meeting.  But the information was so helpful and I think the environment in California much better that I didn't need her to do more.  I would definitely consider an educational advocate as an option, even if you only have one or two conversations with them.  As many letters from mental health professionals who can provide insight into your child's struggle with BPD and the impact on their ability to function in school as a child without mental illness would will also help your case.  Looks like the other members have already provided a lot of good links and resources.  I want to wish you strength, courage and lots of luck!