My relationship with BPD girlfriend is close to a break up

[patdavis]

Hi all,

First post and I'm looking for some guidance and help.

I'll keep this as anon as possible and I'll explain the story.

Me and my girlfriend have been together for about 7 months now. Everything was fine and we had a really great relationship until she left for University. I have been making the effort to visit her as she only lives 2 hours away but her mental health hasn't been great really. A few weeks ago she did mention to me on the phone that our relationship hit a 'flatline' and everything was too perfect (I did some research and I've read that BPD people can get bored of non toxic relationships, forgive me if I'm incorrect)

Anyway, she hasn't been the same since going to university and her mental health is sky rocketing. She isn't the same person right now. Yesterday We decided to go on a relationship 'break' until her health gets better. I can't help but think she just doesn't want to be with me anymore. She said she still cares about me a lot and wants to give our relationship a go again another time but I'm so confused. I'm starting to get obsessed about it and can't stop checking her social media to see if she's met somebody else, it's having a negative impact on my health and I just want everything to be okay again. Can this relationship be saved or has she painted me in black? She's never mentioned me doing anything wrong but she has only mentioned that she's not use to such a perfect and smooth relationship.

T

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[once removed]

hi patdavis and

im glad you found us. i know that anxiety very well, its scary and anxiety inducing when our partner changes, or pulls away with distance, especially when we perceive things to be going smoothly, it can lead to obsessing toward resolution as you mention.

is your girlfriend diagnosed with BPD? leaving for university and being two hours apart can be an obstacle for any relationship. can you elaborate on how her mental health is sky rocketing, and not the same person right now? this will give us better information with which to help you.

[wheretostart0]

go with it man. agree with her. and don't contact her at all after that.

shell come back. don't force anything. don't get emotional. trust me. I wish I could have had my own advice then. because I still miss my ex badly and theres nothing I can do.