My 40something Daughter

[Studebaker]

I'm just beginning to explore the possibility that my daughter mayhave BPD right now she's notspeaking to me because I saidno to signing for an apartment. this has given  me a chance to slow down a little and read about BPD, narcissism, and bipolar. Something is not right with her and i have made excuses, denied, rescued, enabled, etc.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[livednlearned]

Hi Studebaker,

The silent treatment is hard.  

I'm sorry she is not responding to you.

She's in her 40s and needs you to sign for you, which suggests she has a troubled work history and/or bad credit, perhaps from being impulsive. And I am guessing you don't want to sign because you know she struggles to be responsible?

It's natural to want to take care of our kids. Where personality disorders are concerned, the skills are not always intuitive and often have to be learned.

We are here to walk with you as you go through this process of discovery and healing.

 

LnL

[Studebaker]

I'm still trying to learn how to use this thing. Yes, she hass a bad work history and bad credit. She's walked away from many jobs because something was "wrong" with them. Even a teaching position. One day just didn't go she had credit cards that she couldn't pay, so she just maxed them out. She's walked away from different living situations, even getting rid of a nice house she was buying because she wouldn't work. She went through way over $100,000 in about 9 years. She had 2 children by as guyshe knew briefly because she wanted children. Later she married him. He is diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic. They later duvorced. Then she married again, an alcoholics abuser. Sher had two oregnanciues with him both aborted. When I write all thius out, I'm amazed at it all. I've given money, 2 cars, a place to live, given parties and Christmases for my granddaughters because she had nothing for them. But when she's asked me to sign for apt, I just couldn't do that. I can't afford to be stuck with an apt. 1000 miles from my home. So, no contact. I miss my granddaughters but I'm accepting that right now this is what it is.