Adolescent diagnosis barriers

[bpdmom99]

My 15 year old daughter has been "in crisis" over the past year.  It has resulted in numerous hospital stays of a few weeks at a time, as well as one long term stay in a psychiatric hospital.

All along the way, psychiatrists and health care professionals have been noting in her paperwork that she definitely has BPD traits.  After all of my reading, I am finally firmly convinced that she suffers from BPD. 

Her main psychiatrist was always leery whenever I would ask about BPD.  Finally, when I pushed him on a number of things that I was seeing (especially the thought patterns that hide under the surface) - the psychiatrist finally admitted that she definitely BPD traits.  However - he does not agree in diagnosing as such for those under the age of 18.

Here is my struggle.  How important is an 'official' diagnosis?  I know that there is also a stigma around BPD  with other mental health professionals, and for that reason I believe he is also being cautious as to officially diagnose her.  Should I be pushing for a diagnosis?  He admits that if she was the age of 18, he would definitely diagnose her that way.  She easily shows 8 of the 9 BPD traits.

Just not sure if it is really an important thing for me to pursue.  Reading about it, watching videos and learning how to respond has definitely been helpful.  But I wonder if I should be advocating more strongly for her on this issue.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[livednlearned]

A really good question. Have you read Blaise Aguirre's book BPD in Adolescence? He addresses the topic (he is an advocate for early diagnosis, noting that if we wait until 18, they are adults and it becomes harder to be involved in their care).

Do you think your daughter would be receptive to having an official diagnosis?

My SO's D19 is dx'd bipolar and she is very clearly BPD. I'm in a step role, and feel it isn't my place to push it, but I also feel that her loved ones can't unify and address what she really needs because they think medication will solve things.

If you think your D19 would be receptive to the dx, what would change for her? In Buddha and the Borderline, the author talks about discovering in her late 20s that she had been dx'd BPD in her teens and no one told her

She was receptive to treatment and felt as though the dx helped her find her way to DBT, altho I'm not sure everyone with BPD would be as open to treatment as her.

[bpdmom99]

Thanks for your response.  My daughter wants to be diagnosed.  I think she feels that to be diagnosed would be validation that she is understood (on some level - although I know she will never feel understood.)

We were in emerg last night with her.  For me - everything that happened that got us to emerg line up with classic BPD (small argument, huge erruption, black/white thinking that if I am upset it must mean that I hate her, suicidal, etc.)

If I had been able to go into emerg and explain what happened along with a diagnosis of BPD - would we have been met with a different response?  Would we have been met with more understanding vs the feeling that "this is manipulative behaviour from someone who's attention seeking" that we did receive?  I'm not sure.  I do wonder sometimes.

At the same time, I don't want to unfairly have her labelled with a diagnosis if it means that it will stigmatize her more, etc.

[Bright Day Mom]

BPDMOM99, sorry you are going thru this crisis with your D.

My D16 was dx this past year w/BPD among other things, depression, anxiety, etc. 

Often times psychiatrists won't dx under 18 because the brain/personality are still developing and teens often times think black/white. 

I think as long as she is getting the treatment she needs is all that matters and not a label.  I would keep the focus on better serving her needs, treatment and the future.

[bpdmom99]

Thanks for sharing, Bright Day Mom.  I appreciate the advice and perspective!