Engaging pwBPD's tests of love

[InIndia]

With everything else going on this seems so minor, but it's so daily and maybe an easy one to ask so here goes.  Our D19 likes to test love and commitment all the time. Today she did it over the phone with her boyfriend as I ate my lunch saying she won't eat lunch or dinner unless he will come for dinner. (I ended up feeding her as I ate and she ate a full lunch). Just now I overheard her on the phone with her boyfriend saying she won't eat anything unless I feed it to her and she's willing to go hungry for up to three days. I know she places huge value on feeding as indication of love, resists eating often to see how hard we'll push. I'm co fused between just letting that be a love language for her and catering to her to the degree that it works for my time, and the concern that I'm reinforcing her need to have us to things for her to test our love and commitment. What would you do?  Thanks!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Bright Day Mom]

You must feel like you are between a rock and a hard place?  Damned if you do, damned if you don't!  I personally would have the conversation; this feeding ritual cannot continue and stops now.   Love can be displayed in so many other ways.   Would it help to sit down as a family and eat together, each person over 2 feeding themselves?