I see this as blaming the victim

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

What is the tipping point for when the behaviors of others goes from
"Being pushed to grow" to
"I don't like this" to
"being a form of abuse"?

If I'm a teenager and my parents don't give me a car, is that abuse?
If my girlfriend is upset and withdraws/shuts down, is that abuse?
If my coach pushes me to run harder and longer, is that abuse?
If my therapist encourages me to look at my own life with the same impartiality of a  third party, is that abuse?
If someone suggest that after you have been raped, to make a list of places that are risky and avoid them (e.g., the park at night), is that abuse (victim blaming)?

While its possible that all of the above could be "abusive" in certain cases, most of the times these things are not.

We should strive to be aware that there is a tipping point and be willing to challenge ourselves on where that point lies . And know that we are not always the best at doing this for ourselves - this is how the perspective of a support group helps us.

Should that teen who doesn't get the car feel abused and a victim? Or should he examine all sides of the matter and come to a balanced conclusion. Maybe getting a car is a lot of entitlement of his part. Maybe his father is verbally abusive. A balanced perspective would be "I'm overly entitled and my dad is verbally abusive". An imbalanced perspective is "not getting the car is abusive".

This is really hard to do - but it is important part of growth.

How? Well the latter viewpoint (in the example) is likely to contribute to helplessness and depression. The former is likely to be motivation to get a job.

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What is the tipping point for when the behaviors of others goes from
"Being pushed to grow" to
"I don't like this" to
"being a form of abuse"?

If I'm a teenager and my parents don't give me a car, is that abuse?
If my girlfriend is upset and withdraws/shuts down, is that abuse?
If my coach pushes me to run harder and longer, is that abuse?
If my therapist encourages me to look at my own life with the same impartiality of a  third party, is that abuse?
If someone suggest that after you have been raped, to make a list of places that are risky and avoid them (e.g., the park at night), is that abuse (victim blaming)?

While its possible that all of the above could be "abusive" in certain cases, most of the times these things are not.

We should strive to be aware that there is a tipping point and be willing to challenge ourselves on where that point lies . And know that we are not always the best at doing this for ourselves - this is how the perspective of a support group helps us.

Should that teen who doesn't get the car feel abused and a victim? Or should he examine all sides of the matter and come to a balanced conclusion. Maybe getting a car is a lot of entitlement of his part. Maybe his father is verbally abusive. A balanced perspective would be "I'm overly entitled and my dad is verbally abusive". An imbalanced perspective is "not getting the car is abusive".

This is really hard to do - but it is important part of growth.

How? Well the latter viewpoint (in the example) is likely to contribute to helplessness and depression. The former is likely to be motivation to get a job.