What should i do?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I too had been in a relationship with a BPD gf for the past 3 months and a half.
The fist month was amazing and we had a great time together.

Some minor fights ocurred, mostly because she miss-interpreted something i did as ofending and said "Why are you treating me like this?" when i did absolutely nothing. In that ocasions i tryed do skip the place, but then she went in victim mode, start crying and i would consolate her.

She didn't want me to speak about my ex-'s, but she speaked a lot about her ex-, who she said was someone abusive, that beat her up and tried to kill her. Nevertheless, she was obsessed with him, as she said.

I am a psychologist, so i could note the BPD signs over the time, but when i did, was already too into the drama. I tryed sometimes to break up the relationship, but she'd always came after me, begging to give her another chance.

Then, something terrible happend: she got pregnant. She then started to manipulate me, trying to pick a name for the future child and other stuff while putting on me all the responsability for the decision of having or not the baby.

Giving the circumstances, i decided not to have the baby. After that, she started to be distant, cold and raging all the time.

I started to give her more and more. I was by her side in the all process of the abortion, and gave her all the suport. I also said i would like to have a baby with her, when we had the right conditions to do it (that is not the present scenario).

She suffered a lot with the process (it's very hard to women). And she was really cold to me. We fight sometimes (i mean, she yeld and i shutted, then tryed to leave).

Then, one day, in a calm way, she said she was angry with me, and she would like to send me away, but in other way, she didn't want to do that. I sense she reliefed some tension and anger, and after that, she started to be more loving again. But two days later, she started to distance again.

I was not feeling very confortable around her, always expecting for the next burst of rage or something similar and i told her just that on facebook. And that i would not be mistreated anymore. She reacted agressively and told me "Good luck for your future" and we break up. The next day she published a lot of images on facebook sayng "give me another cupid, mine is drank" and "Let it go when the other person don't love you" and others like that.

Today i sent her a facebook message saying "I had a little bit of rage the last time we spoke, and i needed to express it, but maybe i didn't do it in the best way. I hope everything is alright with you. kiss*". She didn't respond.

When we break up, i felt relieved. Finally this nightmare is over. But then, the last days have been a nightmare. I am divided between my sane option of break up and a longing to return to her.

This relationship was all about her. Her problems, her ex's, her moving to the new house, her things, me helping her. I always slept over her house, she never slept in mine. In the beggining she was very kind and pleasing but then she started to make more and more requests and demandings, and slowly, all the relationship became to be about her.

I feel that she wants to destroy me. She hates me. That is not about me, of course. She is traumatized with her parents, the figures that should take care of her in the begining of her life. But she is projecting all of that in me. And all that destructiveness is disquised of "Love".

I don't now why, but i have this feeling that she is coming back for more, and she wants to wreck me just a little bit more. And i need to be very strong if that happens and try not to give in. She is very manipulative and if i give in, it soon will return to the same course.

For now, i am recovering. I lost a lot of weight. Started to be less assiduous in the gym, started to do less of my things. Sometimes i was so tired because i felt emotionally drained. Also, i couldn't sleep so well in her bed.

Now, i am very tired, it's hard to eat, and i feel anxious all the time. But i think i will get stronger from day to day.

I still have some of my stuff in her house and i have to be strong to return there and face it.

The only situations when she getted gentle and even desperate was when she sensed that i was sliping away. A few days ago she went crazy because she tought i already had another gf, just because i didn't respond her quick enough on facebook. She ask me to go over her place, she promised not to fight, but the minute i get there, her attitude chaged and all the conversation was to attack me, acuse me of hiding something, of cheating, etc.

She was crazy jelaousy.

She always rushed me into things. First to be her boyfriend, then to live with her. She even spoke about marriage. I told her i could do all that, but i needed some time to do it, because i'm slower getting into relationships. Now she is distancing.

She blames me for the abortion, saying that i caused her a lot of harm. She doesn't admit any responsability, even when she was the one instigating me sexually. I said that all the process was responsability of both of us. But i think she is not ready to assume any responsability. She idolized me, but now i am the monster that did her wrong. She feels bad about all the situation and i am the one to blame.

I don't now if we are still in a relationship or not. Let's wait for the next episodes :P

Hang on recovering480. You are not alone. I understand how difficult it his. It requests the courage of a warrior.

[Pytagoras]

I too had been in a relationship with a BPD gf for the past 3 months and a half.
The fist month was amazing and we had a great time together.

Some minor fights ocurred, mostly because she miss-interpreted something i did as ofending and said "Why are you treating me like this?" when i did absolutely nothing. In that ocasions i tryed do skip the place, but then she went in victim mode, start crying and i would consolate her.

She didn't want me to speak about my ex-'s, but she speaked a lot about her ex-, who she said was someone abusive, that beat her up and tried to kill her. Nevertheless, she was obsessed with him, as she said.

I am a psychologist, so i could note the BPD signs over the time, but when i did, was already too into the drama. I tryed sometimes to break up the relationship, but she'd always came after me, begging to give her another chance.

Then, something terrible happend: she got pregnant. She then started to manipulate me, trying to pick a name for the future child and other stuff while putting on me all the responsability for the decision of having or not the baby.

Giving the circumstances, i decided not to have the baby. After that, she started to be distant, cold and raging all the time.

I started to give her more and more. I was by her side in the all process of the abortion, and gave her all the suport. I also said i would like to have a baby with her, when we had the right conditions to do it (that is not the present scenario).

She suffered a lot with the process (it's very hard to women). And she was really cold to me. We fight sometimes (i mean, she yeld and i shutted, then tryed to leave).

Then, one day, in a calm way, she said she was angry with me, and she would like to send me away, but in other way, she didn't want to do that. I sense she reliefed some tension and anger, and after that, she started to be more loving again. But two days later, she started to distance again.

I was not feeling very confortable around her, always expecting for the next burst of rage or something similar and i told her just that on facebook. And that i would not be mistreated anymore. She reacted agressively and told me "Good luck for your future" and we break up. The next day she published a lot of images on facebook sayng "give me another cupid, mine is drank" and "Let it go when the other person don't love you" and others like that.

Today i sent her a facebook message saying "I had a little bit of rage the last time we spoke, and i needed to express it, but maybe i didn't do it in the best way. I hope everything is alright with you. kiss*". She didn't respond.

When we break up, i felt relieved. Finally this nightmare is over. But then, the last days have been a nightmare. I am divided between my sane option of break up and a longing to return to her.

This relationship was all about her. Her problems, her ex's, her moving to the new house, her things, me helping her. I always slept over her house, she never slept in mine. In the beggining she was very kind and pleasing but then she started to make more and more requests and demandings, and slowly, all the relationship became to be about her.

I feel that she wants to destroy me. She hates me. That is not about me, of course. She is traumatized with her parents, the figures that should take care of her in the begining of her life. But she is projecting all of that in me. And all that destructiveness is disquised of "Love".

I don't now why, but i have this feeling that she is coming back for more, and she wants to wreck me just a little bit more. And i need to be very strong if that happens and try not to give in. She is very manipulative and if i give in, it soon will return to the same course.

For now, i am recovering. I lost a lot of weight. Started to be less assiduous in the gym, started to do less of my things. Sometimes i was so tired because i felt emotionally drained. Also, i couldn't sleep so well in her bed.

Now, i am very tired, it's hard to eat, and i feel anxious all the time. But i think i will get stronger from day to day.

I still have some of my stuff in her house and i have to be strong to return there and face it.

The only situations when she getted gentle and even desperate was when she sensed that i was sliping away. A few days ago she went crazy because she tought i already had another gf, just because i didn't respond her quick enough on facebook. She ask me to go over her place, she promised not to fight, but the minute i get there, her attitude chaged and all the conversation was to attack me, acuse me of hiding something, of cheating, etc.

She was crazy jelaousy.

She always rushed me into things. First to be her boyfriend, then to live with her. She even spoke about marriage. I told her i could do all that, but i needed some time to do it, because i'm slower getting into relationships. Now she is distancing.

She blames me for the abortion, saying that i caused her a lot of harm. She doesn't admit any responsability, even when she was the one instigating me sexually. I said that all the process was responsability of both of us. But i think she is not ready to assume any responsability. She idolized me, but now i am the monster that did her wrong. She feels bad about all the situation and i am the one to blame.

I don't now if we are still in a relationship or not. Let's wait for the next episodes :P

Hang on recovering480. You are not alone. I understand how difficult it his. It requests the courage of a warrior.