Found out she's looking for rentals...bracing for the worst...or is it the best?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Well, my uBPDwife has been giving me the silent treatment AGAIN, but I was just rolling with it as it's not the first time and I was sure not the last... .but then I just found out through the grapevine she's been actively looking at rental properties... .and BAM like that I'm feeling a bit sick that it really might be over... .even though I've known for a long time that I deserve better, nobody deserves to be treated like I have been... .but yet here I set feeling this pit in my stomach.  It's the culmination of many things... .the unknown... .the financial piece ahead... .and the groundwork she's done with her smear campaign... .lot's and lot's running through my head now... .high on that list is that I should have pulled the plug a long time ago myself... .

[NewStart]

Well, my uBPDwife has been giving me the silent treatment AGAIN, but I was just rolling with it as it's not the first time and I was sure not the last... .but then I just found out through the grapevine she's been actively looking at rental properties... .and BAM like that I'm feeling a bit sick that it really might be over... .even though I've known for a long time that I deserve better, nobody deserves to be treated like I have been... .but yet here I set feeling this pit in my stomach.  It's the culmination of many things... .the unknown... .the financial piece ahead... .and the groundwork she's done with her smear campaign... .lot's and lot's running through my head now... .high on that list is that I should have pulled the plug a long time ago myself... .

[Lucky Jim]

Hey NewStart, Sorry to hear you were blindsided by her looking at rentals.  Yet from what you are saying it might be a change for the better.  Of course you have a pit in your stomach and are feeling nervous.  That's OK!  Perhaps it might be helpful if you think of this transition as short term pain in exchange for long term happiness.  Don't beat yourself up by telling yourself that you should have pulled the plug long ago.  It doesn't matter: this is where you are today.  Yes, you deserve better!   

LuckyJim

[rosesarered777]

Once mine was looking for a rental, I knew that our relationship was gone unfortunately. Once she makes a decision on her own or has been influenced by someone she knows that I don't speak to, it's almost impossible to convince her otherwise. Rarely have I managed to change my ex's mind at that point... sorry.

But she can also be influenced by others... Like when she was told her friend had an on-and-off relationship for years and then got married. So you never know if she may return one day after wondering 'what if... ?'.