AlyO,

We are glad you found us, but are sorry to hear the circumstances you are facing. Having a loved on suffering from BPD in our lives can be very mentally, emotionally and physically draining... .notice my user name... .we understand. If you will look around at the stories others share you will find many similarities... .some in fact, you probably could have written yourself.
Good news is that there are steps you can take to help better your situation. Many of us here have understood that we cannot change our person with BPD, but we can change how we react to and communicate with them. In the upper right hand margin of this page you will see some tools and lessons specifically designed to help you accomplish just that! It's not easy, not an overnight solution as it takes time and practice, but it will help. There are numerous tools on this site and if you look around you will find many that will fit your situation. Boundaries and limits is a good place to focus when dealing with a child with BPD. Good boundaries are a key in this, and learning how to set them (they don't necessarily need to be stated rules) and how to enforce them can go a long way.
If you haven't already read the book Stop walking on Eggshells, that's a good start.
Just curious, what are your biggest day to day issues you all face?
You've found a great place for knowledge, understanding and sharing. Feel free to post any questions, thoughts, or feelings anytime. We are here to walk with you.