My Niece has BPD and has caused LOTS of trouble in my family

[Wednedsay]

I confided in my Niece who has BPD (which I did not know when I confided in her.) I told her I thought my daughter (40 yrs.) had a personality disorder. My Niece went and told my daughter and now my daughter and Niece have totally written me off and also my husband who is the biological father of my daughter.

I tried to tell my older daughter but the Niece already had talked to my older daughter and now she is mad at me also. I am heart broken, I should have never trusted my Niece, i did not know she had BPD.

I have tried my best to mend my relationship with my daughter but she will have nothing to do with me and I have not contacted my Niece because I do not trust her.

Is there anyway to approach this?  I believe my daughter has paranoid personality disorder, no one except my husband believes me.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Naughty Nibbler]

Welcome  Wednedsay:  

I'm sorry about your situation.  What are some of the behaviors your daughter exhibits, that lead you to believe she has a personality disorder?

My sister is undiagnosed, but I believe she is a high-functioning BPD.  My niece, who supposedly is being treated for PTSD, likely is BPD (in my opinion).  I'm not in contact with my sister, but I have met up with my niece on a couple of occasions.  Although my niece and I have spoken about specific behavior issues with my sister, I have never mentioned BPD.

It generally doesn't go well, when you try to give someone a label.  What was your objective in discussing your daughter's mental health with your niece?

The Karpman Drama Triangle workshop can help you learn about healthy triangles, versus unhealthy ones.   Check out the link below:

KARPMAN DRAMA TRIANGLE
https://bpdfamily.com/content/karpman-drama-triangle

You may need to let some time pass, before you contact your daughters.  You can't change anyone else.  What you have control over is yourself and how you interact with and react to others.  It could be good to spend some time learning many of the tools and skills on this website. There are some helpful links to the right of this post and the two links below are helpful skills to use:

VALIDATION

COMMUNICATIONS OVERIVEW

Let us know what you think about the info. at the referenced links.  Jump in and ask questions.