uBPDx awarded legal fees based on manipulation of my small business financials

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Hey Everyone,

TLDR:  In Florida Family Court, what are the consequences if I don't make monthly payments on awarded legal fees?


Longer Version:

- Started small business in 2010.  Never grossed salary more than $30,000 CAD.  Add $10,000 CAD in perks.

- Eloped with uBPD in 2013.  She accused me of DV shortly after.  She moved from Canada to Florida while pregnant.

- 2 years later in custody hearing, uBPDx brought a surprise forensic accountant who inflated my small business income from $30,000 CAD to $150,000 USD

- Because of false accusations she initially had 100% custody.  I was initially paying $420 USD/month child support based on my actual income.  After surprise forensic I was paying $950 USD/month "without prejudice".  I had to borrow family money to be able to pay child support. 

- I was also commanded to pay 80% of all split costs (Dr's, school, GAL, etc)

- To date I've borrowed close to $150,000 USD to follow court orders and make payments that I cannot afford.

- My lawyer (2nd lawyer now, 1st lawyer created a lot of the above problems) managed to get my income back to a more reasonable $45,000 USD.  But less than 24 hours before trial, opposing counsel found a loophole in business financial statements that put my income back up to $70,000 USD Net.  We had to agree to $70,000 "without prejudice" in order to have time to close the loophole and get my income back to $45,000 USD.  (We also agreed so that I wouldn't waste $10,000 in forensic accountant fees to testify)

- Just finished temporary trial on attorney's fee's.  When we tried to present the documents that close the loophole (updated and accurate shareholder agreement and completed financial statements), the opposing counsel argued that the "without prejudice" was for final hearing before the judge and did not apply to temporary hearing before GM.  GM is retiring at the end of the month and wanted to close this case, she allowed opposing counsel to use the inflated $70,000 USD income.

- uBPDx doesn't work.  She is a 36 year old "struggling model/actress".  She has imputed income of $24,000 USD.  She lives in luxury condo with twice my rent, she uses food stamps and claims every possible government benefit.  She has extremely wealthy sister and well off parents.  She is supported by family and by mooching off friends who lend her money. 

- I've had 100% custody of our son for 5 months after uBPDx showed up high to trial.  uBPDx has paid zero child support and her attorney has filed motions to compel me to continue to pay her child support even though I have 100% custody.

- uBPDx has approximately $80,000 USD in legal fees and forensic accountant fees.  I estimate she has paid $20,000 - $30,000 USD of her fee's owed.


I believe in an effort to close this case, the GM awarded partial attorney's fees for a total of $18,000 USD against me.  On a monthly payment plan of $1000 USD/month, partially based on the logic that I was previously paying $950/month in child support and I no longer have that cost.  Obviously if uBPDx completes (weak) therapy ordered by the court, she will go for more custody, which will have me paying child support again. 

My lawyer feels that GM made this decision to minimize chance of appeal, as the other side got something and it will cost me more to appeal than it will to just pay it.


My thought process is that I couldn't afford the child support in the first place, so for them to use it as precedent is completely wrong.  I cannot afford $1000/month and therefore I'm not going to continue to set precedent by paying amounts I cannot afford. 

Appreciate any feedback or follow up questions/discussion.

Cheers,
Duck

[Duck_Borders]

Hey Everyone,

TLDR:  In Florida Family Court, what are the consequences if I don't make monthly payments on awarded legal fees?


Longer Version:

- Started small business in 2010.  Never grossed salary more than $30,000 CAD.  Add $10,000 CAD in perks.

- Eloped with uBPD in 2013.  She accused me of DV shortly after.  She moved from Canada to Florida while pregnant.

- 2 years later in custody hearing, uBPDx brought a surprise forensic accountant who inflated my small business income from $30,000 CAD to $150,000 USD

- Because of false accusations she initially had 100% custody.  I was initially paying $420 USD/month child support based on my actual income.  After surprise forensic I was paying $950 USD/month "without prejudice".  I had to borrow family money to be able to pay child support. 

- I was also commanded to pay 80% of all split costs (Dr's, school, GAL, etc)

- To date I've borrowed close to $150,000 USD to follow court orders and make payments that I cannot afford.

- My lawyer (2nd lawyer now, 1st lawyer created a lot of the above problems) managed to get my income back to a more reasonable $45,000 USD.  But less than 24 hours before trial, opposing counsel found a loophole in business financial statements that put my income back up to $70,000 USD Net.  We had to agree to $70,000 "without prejudice" in order to have time to close the loophole and get my income back to $45,000 USD.  (We also agreed so that I wouldn't waste $10,000 in forensic accountant fees to testify)

- Just finished temporary trial on attorney's fee's.  When we tried to present the documents that close the loophole (updated and accurate shareholder agreement and completed financial statements), the opposing counsel argued that the "without prejudice" was for final hearing before the judge and did not apply to temporary hearing before GM.  GM is retiring at the end of the month and wanted to close this case, she allowed opposing counsel to use the inflated $70,000 USD income.

- uBPDx doesn't work.  She is a 36 year old "struggling model/actress".  She has imputed income of $24,000 USD.  She lives in luxury condo with twice my rent, she uses food stamps and claims every possible government benefit.  She has extremely wealthy sister and well off parents.  She is supported by family and by mooching off friends who lend her money. 

- I've had 100% custody of our son for 5 months after uBPDx showed up high to trial.  uBPDx has paid zero child support and her attorney has filed motions to compel me to continue to pay her child support even though I have 100% custody.

- uBPDx has approximately $80,000 USD in legal fees and forensic accountant fees.  I estimate she has paid $20,000 - $30,000 USD of her fee's owed.


I believe in an effort to close this case, the GM awarded partial attorney's fees for a total of $18,000 USD against me.  On a monthly payment plan of $1000 USD/month, partially based on the logic that I was previously paying $950/month in child support and I no longer have that cost.  Obviously if uBPDx completes (weak) therapy ordered by the court, she will go for more custody, which will have me paying child support again. 

My lawyer feels that GM made this decision to minimize chance of appeal, as the other side got something and it will cost me more to appeal than it will to just pay it.


My thought process is that I couldn't afford the child support in the first place, so for them to use it as precedent is completely wrong.  I cannot afford $1000/month and therefore I'm not going to continue to set precedent by paying amounts I cannot afford. 

Appreciate any feedback or follow up questions/discussion.

Cheers,
Duck

[Duck_Borders]

I forgot to mention:  My long term plan is to relocate back to Canada.  My question is a 2 part question, what are the immediate consequences of not paying awarded $1000/month, and if I don't pay can it be used against me in custody portion of trial? 

[jonmnemonic]

I think your question requires a legal expert for an answer but yes everything can and will be used against you in a court of law.

I'm not sure how far along in the process you are but go to Amazon and buy the book "Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder".  It can help you navigate through the divorce process and possibly avoid making some costly mistakes.

[Duck_Borders]

I think your question requires a legal expert for an answer but yes everything can and will be used against you in a court of law.

I'm not sure how far along in the process you are but go to Amazon and buy the book "Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder".  It can help you navigate through the divorce process and possibly avoid making some costly mistakes.

Thanks for the reply.  I've read splitting 3 times and many other books dealing with personality disorders.  I would like to consider myself pretty good at dealing with a BPD.

The problem i have is my BPD has worked up enormous fees with her lawyer and accountant and they're the one's that are trying to inflate my income as I'm sure they realize now it's the only way they're going to get paid (I've heard from multiple sources that her lawyer now realizes that she's mentally ill, but he feels bad for her so he's sticking in the case).

[jonmnemonic]

You should be able to prove your real income (both business and personal) as well as expenses.  They might sting you if you're taking money out of the business account for personal expenses but unless your record keeping is a mess (or you're hiding something) you shouldn't have any issues with your bottom line.  How are they inflating your income?

[Duck_Borders]

You should be able to prove your real income (both business and personal) as well as expenses.  They might sting you if you're taking money out of the business account for personal expenses but unless your record keeping is a mess (or you're hiding something) you shouldn't have any issues with your bottom line.  How are they inflating your income?

It was a two step process:

1) During the early trials, they represented me as if I were a realtor or some type of "self employed" professional that was writing off my computer, rent, personal expenses etc... .

- They added back $80,000 of amortization on heavy duty machinery that is essential to my company operating and that my staff use.

- They also added all 4 of our delivery vehicles as if they were for my personal use.

- They only calculated part of our royalties (we're a franchise) and "forgot" about the other fees we pay to our head office, so they represented that the additional money was income I was hiding etc.


2) Once we had sorted out all of the BS above, they did the following:

- Used our incomplete financial statements before we had done our year end. Our statements showed a profit before we had written off bad debt and other fees, once they were completed our financials showed a net loss.

- Allocated 100% ownership to me, even though the government and our bank have my Mom as 30% owner. The opposing counsel said that because I had not submitted the proper ownership structure to our franchisor (oversight on my part in 2010) they would not accept that my mom owned 30% of the income.

There is more sneaky bs going on, but that's the coles notes.


I'm not hiding anything.  I have admitted to using company credit card for some personal expenses, etc. (I don't use it at all when I'm living in another country - which has been a year now) Basically what the opposing counsel keeps doing is changing their stance 1 or 2 days before a trial, then we have to agree to a "without prejudice" because it's cheaper than bringing in Forensics for 3 days of trial.  Finally the GM - who is retiring at the end of the month - said "no more changing it.  This is the number we're making a ruling on."  My lawyer feels the GM did me a favour by only awarding $18,000 over 18 months. 

[DreamGirl]

How frustrating.

I don't understand how you could possibly owe $950/month in child support where you have primary custody.

What is your attorney recommending exactly? Just pay the $1000/month? I'd probably take that money and hire the accountant to present the factual financial statement. Do you get your FS reviewed by a CPA?

Unfortunately, it always seems to be that the person making more money is the one who is always expected to pay for the majority.

[Waddams]

This is yet another example of family court being used for nothing more than fleecing someone's resources to pay the lawyers and other leeches involved.  Has nothing to do with actually resolving a case.  It's absolutely despicable.

You have to remember, they aren't trying to finish your case and give you a fair ruling.  It's a purposeful fleecing.  I'm really sorry.  The best way out is to figure out how to get the case finished as soon as possible so you can cut off the hands that keep reaching into your pocket.  It's nothing more than "legalized" theft and will continue as long as they have the opportunity.

This kind of thing is getting worse all over the country and it's going to lead to some major backlash against the system one day. 

[Duck_Borders]

Hey Guys appreciate the feedback.

Regarding the last 2 posts (Waddams and DreamGirl):

- Yes I agree, it is a crazy system that just makes problems worse and drains everyone of all resources.  My lawyer is definitely trying to end this as quickly as possible, but the OC is dragging it out and the system is helping him.

- I don't understand how I could owe child support either.  This still hasn't been addressed, there have been so many silly issues wasting time we never had a chance to address it.  And like I said the GM was just trying to get a solution done now before she retires.



Here's an update:

I met with my lawyer, she says I have to start making the monthly payments of $1000 to OC (opposing counsel) because otherwise it will reflect very poorly on me in front of new GM and Judge when we inevitably end up at trial.  My uBPDx has not been paying the GAL or her lawyer (or anyone for that matter) and my lawyer says that will reflect very poorly on my ex and that she doesn't want us to be cast in the same boat if I don't pay. 

The strategy is push this to trial asap as we know my ex is not capable of mediation.  Once trial is complete I will cease payments to OC.


I'm still of the mindset that I shouldn't borrow money to make payments I can't afford and never could afford.  This is morally bankrupt and continuing to throw money at it just prolongs this nightmare with a very sick person on the other end of the table. 

Another important fact - my uBPDx called DCF on me last week and made a false allegation of DV.  Now we're also going through that investigation. 


Is there ever an end to this?  Should I continue to pay?  Or is it time to consider other options?

Thanks,
Duck

[ForeverDad]

It's possible she got triggered by something and that was her overreaction.

Or it could be her way to delay the case and hence delay the trial.  In my case... .My then-stbEx dragged her feet every step of the way through the list of divorce requirements: temporary order hearing, mediation attempt, parenting investigation, custody evaluation, settlement conference attempt, trial, final decree.  Plus she or her lawyer got a few continuances that forced court to be rescheduled.  In all, it took nearly two years.  She didn't mind, she kept her favorable temp order longer.  My lawyer's initial estimate was 6 months no children, 7-9 months with children.  How wrong he was!  She did finally settle, but on Trial Day, I found out when I arrived at court ready for the trial.