will my ex who has BPD come back to me ~

[diffey_09]

so just around a month ago on dec 29 my girlfreind broke up with me, saying that she didnt want to be tied down and that i blamed her on everything and tried to make her feel guilty (even though i wasnt trying to do that i was just hinting to her im not alright please be there for me because recentley she told me dont tell me about your problems because it makes things worse for me, anyways my problem was my grandmother was dying). anywho about 2 weeks from the break up on my birthday i wrote a huge apology to her saying i apologise for all the things is "suposedly" did that i honestly and truthfuly did not and she just pushed me away even more.

i have depression myself and tried killing myself around 3 times over her 2 times of those three i was drunk. then on around the thrid week of our relationship her co-worker messages me over facebook attacking me saying you wasted 5 months of her life and all and i just explained all that she did to me and my ex got on and told me she cheated on me with one of the guys i trusted her talking to.

 just a simple summary of what she did to me was she cheated on me, ended up loving another guy she talked to, insulted me daily, never spoke to me, became an introvert and didnt want me over at all, she hurt me daily, she lied about loving me, she lied about caring about me and there is still alot more i can say (as a boyfreind i would treat her like a princess i would wake up to her calling me at 3 am beause she had a night mare, i would send paragraphs to her every second night on why i loved her and appriciated her, i used all my money on buying her things, i would spend all my time thinking about only her, i would always be there for her no matter what time or reason, i was polite, i never swore at her, i always waited for her, i opened doors for her, i gave up my dream of being a pro fighter jsut to have the supposed "family" she wanted with me bassicly i gave it my all).

but my question honestly is will my ex come back to me when she had done all those things will she realise that she hurt me badly and that all i did for her was good and i just wanted to be there for her? from my perspective i know i need to get over her but i just want to know so she can finnally stop treating people horribly.

(if it is useful one of my best mates, C.,  was her ex best freind and my ex ended up hurting her and they stopped being freinds but my ex wrote an apology to C. about 6 months later and C. and my ex were best freinds for about 2 years my ex and me were togetheer for 5 months)

ill also be honest i miss the old her at the start of the relationship, i do mis her and being there for her but if we were to get back together i would have to lay down some restrictions this time because she should know she cant cross a boundary. sorry im just a very forgiving person if you can talk me out of doing it then please do thanks.

it would be much appriciated if i get a response as soon as possible

[heartandwhole]

Hi diffey_09



I'm sorry to hear about your breakup and the loss of your grandmother. It is so difficult to lose a close romantic relationship. If we add BPD to the dynamic, and a dying relative, it can be so much harder.   I can definitely relate, as my father died right before the final breakup with pwBPD.

Your feelings are really understandable. It makes sense to continue to love and want to be with someone, even if they've hurt you. The members here have been in similar situations, and understand what you are going through.

Since you have depression yourself, have you been seeing a therapist to help you through the grieving process? Do you have supportive friends and family whom you can lean on? It's very important to rally as much support around you as you can. I'm glad you reached out to this site—we can be your virtual support system. 

Are you still in regular contact with your girlfriend at the moment?

Keep writing. It helps to share. We're here for you.

heartandwhole

[diffey_09]

heartandwhole

hi thanks for reading my post i really appriciate it, no im not in regular contact with her at all. but do you think you would have the awnsers behind my question if she would or not come back to me because im scared of dwelling on this for months or years on end waiting for an apology from her