Mother - Daughter relationships are complex

[Depression = 72% of members]

I have a difficult time trying to explain my relationship with my mom. I suspect my mom has BPD. For as long as I can remember, she'd go from 0 to 100 in the blink of an eye. Rage. Full on rage. Clenching her teeth. Slamming her fists on the counter. Slamming cabinets. Slamming doors. So much slamming. Pounding her fist against her thighs.
Yet, she can also be loving, funny, supportive, silly, and trustworthy. It seems like she's always trying to solve everyone's problems to a fault. She has a very co-dependent relationship with one son in particular and he's an addict. So she enables and tries to solve all his problems for him. It's been ALOT for me to deal with and it's taken its toll on me but I still love her very much.

[CatDracula]

I have a difficult time trying to explain my relationship with my mom. I suspect my mom has BPD. For as long as I can remember, she'd go from 0 to 100 in the blink of an eye. Rage. Full on rage. Clenching her teeth. Slamming her fists on the counter. Slamming cabinets. Slamming doors. So much slamming. Pounding her fist against her thighs.
Yet, she can also be loving, funny, supportive, silly, and trustworthy. It seems like she's always trying to solve everyone's problems to a fault. She has a very co-dependent relationship with one son in particular and he's an addict. So she enables and tries to solve all his problems for him. It's been ALOT for me to deal with and it's taken its toll on me but I still love her very much.

[Methuen]

I’m afraid I have to disagree because it is a broad generalization.

Every friend I have has a healthy relationship with their mother. They enjoy the relationship I can only dream about and wish I could have.

The only people I know personally that have a complex relationship with a parent happen to be distant family when mental health issues are in the picture.

So I think that “complex mother daughter relationships “ can be true when there are mental health or addiction issues in one or the other or even in the family system, but I do not believe it to be true as a broad generalization.  I see far too many healthy and genuine mother daughter relationships to believe this. 

I also have adult children and I believe that H and I have broken the cycle.  We have special relationships with our kids. 

So I would urge caution in thinking that generalization.