giving up

[hope2002]

I just need to know what to do. At the end of my rope! My daughter will be 23 in April of 2025. My whole family has suffered from the aftereffects of BPD. She has suffered since 2nd grade, and nothing sticks! Counseling, DBT and meds. Maybe, I can get some advice, maybe I just need to vent. would love to know what others have went through or if anything has helped.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Sancho]

Hi Hope2002
It's pretty understandable that you are at the end of your rope. So many years of chaos and pain for you and all the family. It also sounds as though you have been connected to a variety of therapists, and different meds, and you can't really see how to move forward at this point in time.

When I first came to this site I was hopeful that I would read something that could resemble a tried and true formula for treating this serious condition. I didn't come across that, but I was able to read others' posts and suddenly I knew there were people out there that were going through the same chaos and pain as myself.

When I read the posts I was able to understand that what I was seeing and what was happening in my life was what others were experiencing. I realised what BPD looked like on a day to day basis.

In my opinion BPD is the most difficult of the mental health conditions.

For many years I held onto the information that for many people with BPD the symptoms lessen in the 4th decade - ie between 30 and 40. I have actually seen this happen for a couple of others with the 'lcondition, but so far my DD's symptoms have only lessened to a degree.

At first also I didn't grasp the need for self care. I was totally focused on finding a solution that would enable my DD to function in the world.

It seems you have done all that you can. When I came to this point, my mantra through the chaos and crises was I didn't cause this, I can't control it, I can't cure it. (the 3 C's)

It helped me to 'let go'. It didn't change the situation but it changed me.

I hope you find some strength by coming here, by knowing you are not alone on this awful journey.