Bravo on me...

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Today is generally one of the evenings that we hang out. Because of the physical incident week before last as well as the freezing me out that took place for the week after I did not have any desire to go. He has returned to texting more frequently, and we even had a phone call yesterday that was reasonably pleasant for no reason that I can tell other than his wanting to talk. He is definitely on his best behavior.

I've been thinking about how taking my power back has to include only participating in this relationship on my terms and if I can do so without fear and dread in my heart. Am I ready to have the final conversation? No... .but I am ready to start saying no to the things I know I don't want.

So I sent a text early in the day letting him know that I wasn't available tonight. I didn't apologize, I didn't manufacture an excuse, I just told him I was unavailable. And then I waited for what I was sure would be swift retribution. What I've received instead is a handful of light texts and some pictures of his son playing in the snow.

I'm not confident that the other shoe won't drop because it always does, but for now I'm going to celebrate this victory. I made a decision based on what I needed tonight, and for the moment all is calm. ☺

[Lalathegreat]

Today is generally one of the evenings that we hang out. Because of the physical incident week before last as well as the freezing me out that took place for the week after I did not have any desire to go. He has returned to texting more frequently, and we even had a phone call yesterday that was reasonably pleasant for no reason that I can tell other than his wanting to talk. He is definitely on his best behavior.

I've been thinking about how taking my power back has to include only participating in this relationship on my terms and if I can do so without fear and dread in my heart. Am I ready to have the final conversation? No... .but I am ready to start saying no to the things I know I don't want.

So I sent a text early in the day letting him know that I wasn't available tonight. I didn't apologize, I didn't manufacture an excuse, I just told him I was unavailable. And then I waited for what I was sure would be swift retribution. What I've received instead is a handful of light texts and some pictures of his son playing in the snow.

I'm not confident that the other shoe won't drop because it always does, but for now I'm going to celebrate this victory. I made a decision based on what I needed tonight, and for the moment all is calm. ☺