Adult Daughter with BPD

[Mimi 25]

My 48-year-old daughter has BPD.  She suffers from anxiety and panic attacks and is very disfunctional.  She takes prescription drugs for anxiety, abuses alcohol, has very poor nutrition.  She lives on alimony payments that will run out in 2 years.  Mostly she sits on the sofa and watches TV.  She is deeply in debt because she spends too much and doesn't her bills.  Her apartment is usually filthy dirty.  She has no friends left; she has either alienated them or distanced herself from them.  I could go on and on.  Recently she called and asked my husband if she could move in with us when her alimony runs out.  He told her "absolutely not" because of her self-destructive lifestyle.  We are in our 70's, and life would be miserable with her living with us the way she is.  We have been to see a counselor twice, and she recommended bpdfamily.com to us.  Any help and support will be most appreciated.   

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[heartandwhole]

Hi Mimi 25,



I'm sorry to hear about your daughter's struggles. I can imagine how difficult that has been for you. You've definitely found a great place for support, as members here have experienced similar situations and understand.

The site also has lots of resources and tools that will help. I'm thinking specifically about communication skills and boundaries that will help you successfully manage your relationship as things change in her life.

Does your daughter also see a therapist?

Are you in regular contact with her, and how does that usually go?

Keep writing. We're to support you. 

heartandwhole

 

[Mimi 25]

Thank you for your reply.  My adult daughter believes her problems are due to anxiety.  She does see a psychiatrist once a month who prescribes medications for her.  Lately our contacts with our daughter are mostly regarding our two teenage granddaughters and plans to get together with them.  They no longer live with their mother following an episode last year when our daughter was found incoherent, no food in the house, etc.  They are with their father.  The older girl is away at college; the younger one is in 10th grade, and they are both very special to us.  We live an hour away but see them whenever we can, once or twice a month.  Sometimes our daughter is there as well.  All of us know we can't depend on her.  She frequently does not show up because she feels sick.