Hi AudreyAudrey,
I'd like to welcome you to bpdfamily. I'm so sorry. Good questions, I think that there is no one size fits all answer but here are some things that help.
It helps to talk to others just like you, you're not alone. This platform is a place where you can share your feelings and thoughts without being judged or invalidated, many of us here where invalidated from a parent or parents that suffer from mental illness and it helps to share that pain with others, validate what you felt / feel about your mom.
Also, do you have a T? If you don't already have a T ( therapist ) I suggest that you do, it helps to work with a T concurrently with a support group.
Learn as much as you can about the disorder. What happened to you as a child is not fair, reading about BPD can help us figure out why our parents acted the way that they did and to depersonalize the behaviors, become indifferent to them, you neither like it or hate it.
How did you find us? Do you have contact with your mom?
PS the lessons are on the right side of the board
