significant other has recently been diagnosed with BPD, (and other disorders)

[rivergirl71]

HELP!  , until my SO can get treatment, what can I do, tools, coping skills, to not just throw up my hands and walk away?  I can't seem to differentiate between the irregular emotional outbursts, that they hate me, and somehow it is always MY FAULT she's upset.  what can we do at, to get over these hurdles until treatment is available?

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[gotbushels]

Hi rivergirl71 

Welcome.

... .to not just throw up my hands and walk away?

I understand this. It is so frustrating to get blamed for things that we feel aren't our fault. Many of the outbursts, dysregulation, and tantrums—we aren't responsible for many of those.

HELP!  , until my SO can get treatment, what can I do, tools, coping skills,

I encourage you to put yourself in a position to cope. What will help you do this is looking at the skills for surviving confrontation and disrespect. Those are here:
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=287068.msg12704923#msg12704923

Given what you've shared, I'd also specifically start with "Triggering and Mindfulness and Wise Mind". It's a subtopic there.

I can't seem to differentiate between the irregular emotional outbursts, that they hate me, and somehow it is always MY FAULT she's upset.  what can we do at, to get over these hurdles until treatment is available?

Wise Mind will help you differentiate what's your deal, and what's her deal. I know this is true because I used it.

I look forward to seeing how this develops for you. I hope you find peace.