Need guidance

[Depression = 72% of members]

My wife of four years has had a rough few months. She lost her job due to downsizing. Then got a dui a few days later. I wasn't as supportive as I could have been but that was over a month and a half ago. She's been having trouble with her self worth again. I found out about two weeks ago that my mother has cancer and have been a little down. To make matters much worse my wife hasn't come home in ten days. Is this normal?  She's never done anything like this before and I'm not sure what to do. She's not really responding much to my calls or texts. I'm just at a loss for what to do. Any advice would be helpful.

[TavrenCallas]

My wife of four years has had a rough few months. She lost her job due to downsizing. Then got a dui a few days later. I wasn't as supportive as I could have been but that was over a month and a half ago. She's been having trouble with her self worth again. I found out about two weeks ago that my mother has cancer and have been a little down. To make matters much worse my wife hasn't come home in ten days. Is this normal?  She's never done anything like this before and I'm not sure what to do. She's not really responding much to my calls or texts. I'm just at a loss for what to do. Any advice would be helpful.

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[JoeBPD81]

Oh, I'm sorry for the late response and your situation.

Let me welcome you to the family, TavrenCallas. Is she diagnosed BPD? You had a lot of hard blows as a family. And she probably doesn't know how to be supportive to you. i can't imagine your anxiety if she hasn't come home for so long.

You say she's not responding much, but is she responding at all? Do you know where she is?

It hasn't happened to me before either, but I've heard of a lot of people with BPD dissapearing for some days. Sounds very scary, and I hope you have people around you and that you can take care of yourself. I'm really sorry about your mother too. My father survived a cancer, but I will always remember the day I was told he had it. I hope some other member can give you a good piece of advice.

I can only tell you that any message you send her to be one of understanding. That you understand this is a situation that is overwhelming, and you understand that she had to do something to overcome that. But that you hope you can help each other to go through this. 2 mesages, you really want her to come to you, but you understand she needed this space.

I wish you the best, I hope she has come already, or that she comes back very soon.