She opens her arms to me gives me a loving hugging embrace,

[Pedro]

Just set off for work & ex is up early for once. I'm getting my work bag packed with lunch drinks etc. I say "Happy 4th July day to you & your family". She says "thank you" & I'll see you tonight". She says "come here", "what" I say. She opens her arms to me gives me a loving hugging embrace, gentle kiss on my neck & says "I love you".
It's not bloody fair everybody.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Gumiho]

Happy 4th July tho, from Korea (I'm not from the US tho *cough*)

Pedro   ... hope dies last! Be strong!

[Gumiho]

(with "hope dies last" I meant things will become better for you. You are a nice guy. and she knows that full well.)

[Pedro]

Thanx Gumiho,
Tried hard not be nice guy in life but did it in this relationship because didn't know any better, all it did was reaffirm her behaviours & actions unfortunately.

[Gumiho]

... .Tried hard not be nice guy in life but did it in this relationship because didn't know any better, all it did was reaffirm her behaviours & actions unfortunately.

Likewise man, whenever my SO tried to convince me what a rude (whatever she said) I am, I assured her that it's her and only her I am nice to. To none else. I hope she registered that somewhere and remembers it in future. All it did, was giving her way to go even more rogue the next time she snapped.
Wish I could turn back time for us ㅠㅠ ... life is unfair

[Pedro]

Hindsight is a wonderful thing dude, wish I had had it only once for this relationship?
Good luck to you, hope ya both reconcile.

[Gumiho]

Thanks~

Yeah. I hope the hindsight wasn't too late >_<;

[Pedro]

Not being negative or letting ex see or feel my negative vibes but unfortunately it is too late. Head's already accepting it, gonna takes years for heart to catch up Gumiho.

[Gumiho]

Not being negative or letting ex see or feel my negative vibes but unfortunately it is too late. Head's already accepting it, gonna takes years for heart to catch up Gumiho.

I see. Pedro. I've been flying over the thread again to refresh my memory.
You mentioned she will be back in two months, you even told her you could relocate to TX, and she said she moved on. Sorry to whirl up something.

  From what I understand your mind is set clear on moving on too "if". (like the ultimate dealbreaker has been performed by mrs.pedro). Is that right?
What do you plan on doing in 2 months upon her return? Clearcut NC or will you keep tormenting yourself, while selling off the house in September?

  I wonder because I told mrs.gumiho that her breakup is not accepted unless she moves on to someone else (the ultimate betrayal, to me)... she said "I see!", although I told her from the start of our relationship onwards, and throughout each of her breakup threats that this would be the ultimate dealbreaker to me (might have been not that wise to remind her), and also because I might end up in a similar decision, should we not reconcile until that happens. (though I'm not even remotely in your position, co-owning a house, nor can I even fathom the pain you are in)

  Or do you see a chance in her reconciling, either before she left to TX, or after she returned? - because judging from what you wrote she's been half-ar$edly (sorry) been trying to reel you back in multiple times. Idk, you said she replied "no"... could that have been a yes? (mrs. gumiho very often said the contrary, and was upset later if I took her by her word).

  I apologize for my nosiness. (trying to get a clear picture)

[EDIT:  the thread was split when posting this O_o?]

[Pedro]

I think Skip mentioned the 2 month target 2 months ago to try & turn things around before she goes home for 3.5 weeks in July. So this is the work Mostly Skip & heartandwhole have been doing with me on this particular section of the bpdfamily website.

She has said numerous times that she "has moved on". So if you can trace 3 main threads under my tag Pedro, things have been mostly geared towards reconnecting before or after her TX vacation. Skip kinda felt that this may have been a rebound relationship with the long distance Mr Wonderful in TX also. However I now feel this will be a permanent thing with him given she has spoke to him every day I guess via Skype, texts etc. I do not listen to her phone calls as I have absolutely no interest in them whatsoever. My hope has disappeared despite really Skip & heartandwhole keeping me going this far, or I would have given up a lot time ago. But deep down I know it's over.

Yes there was a 50% possibility we were going to relocate to TX when we were a couple. I have as much as possible ingratiated myself into the USA cultures, lifestyles, employment possibilities, immigration requirements for me, so this relationship was the real deal for us both, especially the TX culture as that is where we may have moved to, but not now.

It's been harder as we have had to cohabit which both of us hate.  Gumiho I have had to move on for my own sanity I can't wait for her to reconnect.  Yes deal breaker by her. IT'S BEEN SO BLOODY FRSUTRATING THE BODY LANGUAGE, THE WORDS, HUGS, KISSES "I LOVE YOU, I MISS YOU, IF YOU HAD GOT BETTER SOONER WITH YOUR ANTI DEPRESSANTS, I MOVED ON I CAN'T CHANGE, I WANT TO BUT I CANT GET PAST WHAT YOU DID".

You try living with these things been said every other day to you, whilst she's having a long distance Skype/love whatever relationship?  How can somebody be capable of loving 2 people at once?

I cannot go NC when we still cohabit together. I've told her she can stay till the house is sold, I will be polite, courteous, mature & professional which I have been nothing but.

As Skip & heartandwhole with concur, I have had to live work feel think with 3-4 different heads trying to function whilst having  this heavy bruised heart.  

No Gumiho my ex says no & I 100% believe it.

My ex got arsey this evening with me when I came home from work because I wouldn't sit with her. I wanted to go to my bedroom. She says "can't you talk to me for a few minutes before you go up"? I say "what do you want to talk about"? She says "anything, how was your day"? I say "same old ___ just another day, how was yours "the same" she replies?

She says "why are you been funny with me" I reply "I'm ok" I'm tired I tell her. But deep down I'm going upstairs to cry in my room because she's travelling home for vacation, & 1st time in 6 years I'm not going to see my in-laws my 2nd family who I love so much & I won't be part of their lives anymore & vice versa.

I know it's over, time to detach because she says as I was leaving the lounge to go to my bedroom "I'm sorry I can't give you what you want".  I didn't reply or acknowledge not to get into a row as the fool that I am I'm dropping her off at the airport in the morning, I'm such an f*****g mug, but I don't have to do that for much longer.


 

[Pedro]

70% of people who I know that I have spoke to family, friends, colleagues feel that this relationship still has mileage in it. They cannot believe such a lovely couple "who were made for each other could be separated"?
I'm crawling over the grave of my broken relationship here, it's pathetic?

[onelittleladybug]

Pedro   whats the date she is leaving?

[Pedro]

Leaving in an hour or so for the airport. Why do you ask?

[Skip]

Stay strong... .