Ending a phone ccall

[wordsmither]

New here.  Daughter is not officially diagnosed, as she's only 14, but BPD seems to be the best fit so far.  Currently she's in residential treatment, and pretty much refusing to "do" the program.  She's calling daily, and I'm trying desperately to NOT get sucked in to her misery.

Thing is, I just don't know how to end these calls.  I try to come up with legitimate reasons to end the call (I'm at work, I have to use the bathroom, etc) she either hangs up before I finish (which frankly, is okay with me), or gives me a very whiny "whyyyyyyyyyy" or accuses me of not loving her.

Any suggestions?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Bright Day Mom]

My D17 was in residential for 8 months so I've been there.

Do you have weekly family sessions?  We did and we sometimes used the time to set boundaries, which may work in this case. Think about when you'd like her to call and start there.  Maybe in the evening after dinner or if she's an early riser and you have time to spare in the morning before work / school day begins and see how that works.

If she accuses you of "not loving her", I would of course not validate the invalid tell her how much she means to you and let her know you'll speak with her again tomorrow then bye bye.

Good luck.