Does SHE Has BPD?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Hi. My first thread. I was in a beautiful relationship with a lady from South A. since 2013. First 3 year we traveled and kept in touch via skype. relationship move toward consolidating It since we both in our fifties. Divorce and widow. Last year I moved down in february from the US with idea of eventually marrying. returned March. Stayed six month and again move in november. She through a party for my birthday at her home and three weeks later she went from I Love you To I hate you overnight. And practically kicked me out of her home. Whole month december was plain angry toward me. Nothing had happened she was under a lot of financial pressure and stress but between us nothing had happened. She showed me her irritation and anger and eventually January this year I returned to US.  The relationship went downhill and is over. Her backround she has history of: family history of mental illness, suicide depression, psychotic episodes, two abuse, controlling relationship. three dead in a period of 11 month: father, older daugther, second husband. 
The more I have read the more I think she has BPD and even maybe Bipolar.  She had this sudden changes going from I love you  i need you to I am angry at you. get out of my face. We already had wedding bands and was looking forward to a life together and now all is over.
thanks

[juanpachanga]

Hi. My first thread. I was in a beautiful relationship with a lady from South A. since 2013. First 3 year we traveled and kept in touch via skype. relationship move toward consolidating It since we both in our fifties. Divorce and widow. Last year I moved down in february from the US with idea of eventually marrying. returned March. Stayed six month and again move in november. She through a party for my birthday at her home and three weeks later she went from I Love you To I hate you overnight. And practically kicked me out of her home. Whole month december was plain angry toward me. Nothing had happened she was under a lot of financial pressure and stress but between us nothing had happened. She showed me her irritation and anger and eventually January this year I returned to US.  The relationship went downhill and is over. Her backround she has history of: family history of mental illness, suicide depression, psychotic episodes, two abuse, controlling relationship. three dead in a period of 11 month: father, older daugther, second husband. 
The more I have read the more I think she has BPD and even maybe Bipolar.  She had this sudden changes going from I love you  i need you to I am angry at you. get out of my face. We already had wedding bands and was looking forward to a life together and now all is over.
thanks

[DaddyBear77]

juanpachanga, I am sorry to hear about such a sad turn of events for you. I'm glad you found our site, though, so hello and welcome - I hope you can find some comfort and help here.

First of all, you mention that your relationship is all over now - have you still been in contact? Is there still interest off and on to continue the relationship? Or has your relationship partner decided that it's over and has ended contact with you? The reason I ask is that here on the Conflicted board, we try and find ways to forge our own path, whether to stay and continue a relationship and move on to Improving it, or sometimes end it and move on to the stages of Detachment. You may also consider looking at the other boards focused on these stages and others as a place with additional support for you.

To your original question, it's so hard to diagnose someone based on a few traits. If you found your way here, you may know more than we do about what traits are present with your relationship partner. Also, it's not always clear cut even when professionals ARE involved, so you may never know for sure if it's BPD, another PD, or something else. What is common here is that we are all in difficult relationships and the suffering is real.

If you can share a little more detail about your current situation and maybe ask a few more questions, we are all here to help.

~DaddyBear77