I am exhausted trying to help my daughter

[Rosebud123]

My adult daughter had diagnosis many years ago, of BPD but ignored treatment because she refused to accept the diagnosis.  She is now 35 and has a child and she can not or will not see the damage she is doing to her daughter.  I want to help, but the more input by me, the more she avoids real help, and the more emotionally abusive she is to her daughter. I am sick with concern for both of them and I don't know what to do for  her or the child if she  refuses to accept her condition and do anything about it. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[wendydarling]

Hi Rosebud123

Welcome to bpdfamily, I'm glad you found us. I'm sorry what you are dealing with your daughter, many parents here are in similar situations to you, you are not alone.   I understand you feel sick with concern for them and want to help, the more you input, the more emotionally abusive she is to her daughter. While we can't change them, we can make changes ourselves to improve the relationship, through changing how we communicate using the tools here to gain better outcomes. If our current approach is not working - change it, to the right are tools and lessons  have a look and let me know what you think, they take time to practice, they do work. How is your daughter emotionally abusive, what behaviours are you dealing with?

Where does your daughter live, is she working? It's important we take care of ourselves, do you have a family member, friend you can talk to?

Small gentle steps work for me, I look forward to hearing from you.

WDx