Married w/children to male borderline

[DnTheRbtHole]

Just introducing myself. My husband and I have been married for 6 years. We have a child together and I have children from a previous marriage. He has been diagnosed with BPD and meets all diagnostic criteria. He also has substance abuse issues. He's in Korea now and things are good (good as far as it can be) because when he acts crazy I can disconnect in a way that I can't even he's here. He'll be back in November and I don't want the house to dive back into the chaos of BPD. Pretty sure I'm suffering from battered woman syndrome which is making my leaving feel impossible. I know he's toxic but I feel paralysed. 

[Turkish]

Hi,

How does he act crazy? Does he throw things,  punch walls or physically handle you?

I'm guessing he's in the military.  Whether or not,  what kinds of local support do you have for you and the kids?

Turkish

[DnTheRbtHole]

The things he says are scarier then the things he does but he doesn't keep his hands to himself if I do or say anything that escalates the situation. He used to be much worse before I had the military put him on two different 72 hour holds. When I was signing a lease to leave 2 years ago he went to my kids and begged them not to leave saying we're his only family and he can't survive without us. My then 8,14 and 17 year olds then came to me and said you can move out but we're not leaving him, this is our home. It felt like a stab in the heart at his direction.