Parent, need help and advice

[Parents! Get help here!]

Hello, and thank you for accepting me into this group. I have a 17 yo son (adopted at birth) who has diagnosed ADHD and ODD. The ODD is continuing to get worse with his defiance and rebellion. He is angry and irritable all the time.  We have learned recently from his 1/2 sister that his birthmom has a diagnosis of BPD. She denies it, saying she has PTSD and agoraphobia. She was discharged from the military due to mental health. I suspect she somehow got her diagnosis changed as BPD does not qualify for military disability, which she is on.  She is completely healthy physically otherwise.  Anyway, I am wondering how strong of a genetic connection there is for BPD?  And how can we intervene to help our son before he does something drastic? He is so angry all the time, so impulsive, can't maintain relationships, barely passing in school. He will be a junior this year. So tired of walking on eggshells in our home. He does not technically have a BPD diagnosis but I suspect it is just a matter of time.  Any advice is greatly appreciated!

[Jacks4]

Hello, and thank you for accepting me into this group. I have a 17 yo son (adopted at birth) who has diagnosed ADHD and ODD. The ODD is continuing to get worse with his defiance and rebellion. He is angry and irritable all the time.  We have learned recently from his 1/2 sister that his birthmom has a diagnosis of BPD. She denies it, saying she has PTSD and agoraphobia. She was discharged from the military due to mental health. I suspect she somehow got her diagnosis changed as BPD does not qualify for military disability, which she is on.  She is completely healthy physically otherwise.  Anyway, I am wondering how strong of a genetic connection there is for BPD?  And how can we intervene to help our son before he does something drastic? He is so angry all the time, so impulsive, can't maintain relationships, barely passing in school. He will be a junior this year. So tired of walking on eggshells in our home. He does not technically have a BPD diagnosis but I suspect it is just a matter of time.  Any advice is greatly appreciated!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[wendydarling]

Hi JackiB 

Welcome to bpdfamily I'm glad you found us and sorry what you are dealing with your son, parents here understand what you are going through, you are not alone   

In answer to your question about genetics here is a helpful conversation and results of research studies What is the cause of borderline personality disorder?

Has your son received treatment for ADHD/ODD at any time? Does he share with you about how he is feeling, his behaviour?

WDx