my daughter, now in her 40's, has become impossible

[Parents! Get help here!]

This is my first visit to your website, which was recommended by my former psychologist.  I am looking for insight and suggestions from others who may have had a similar experience with their child.  My daughter has launched a smear campaign against me within my family, and I have had to create a formal distance from her to protect the mental and physical health of myself and my husband. 
Thank you very much.

[Nicole2]

This is my first visit to your website, which was recommended by my former psychologist.  I am looking for insight and suggestions from others who may have had a similar experience with their child.  My daughter has launched a smear campaign against me within my family, and I have had to create a formal distance from her to protect the mental and physical health of myself and my husband. 
Thank you very much.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[wendydarling]

Hi Nicole2

Welcome to bpdfamily   I'm glad you found us and sorry what brings you here, you'll find some parents are in similar situations, setting boundaries to protect wellbeing like you, you are not alone.   

You're in a difficult situation, it's upsetting, do you and your husband have family you can talk to for support? How are you coping?

I'm glad you are here for support, it helps to talk.

WDx

[Nicole2]

Hi Nicole2

Welcome to bpdfamily   I'm glad you found us and sorry what brings you here, you'll find some parents are in similar situations, setting boundaries to protect wellbeing like you, you are not alone.   

You're in a difficult situation, it's upsetting, do you and your husband have family you can talk to for support? How are you coping?

I'm glad you are here for support, it helps to talk.

WDx

[Nicole2]

Thank you so much for responding, WD.  My family members have been unconditionally supportive of me and for that I am deeply grateful since it could have been otherwise, as I have read it is not uncommon to unjustly lose ones entire family in this situation.  Nevertheless, even after their support, and the support of my husband and my friends and the guidance of a therapist, I am still tormented at times by the sense of loss, hurt, disappointment and guilt, and it is so painful to know she is suffering as well.  After a lifetime of drama and turmoil, lies and manipulation, accusations, etc., with me walking on eggshells around her, it has helped to finally realize that she is suffering from BPD, exacerbated by alcohol and drugs, although the heartache is still here.  I have recently gone NC to preserve both my marriage and our health, and on the recommendation of, well, everyone mentioned above.  I am still waiting for the "other shoe to fall" with regard to her interactions with my family.  I am focusing on our health, meditating, exercising and trying to recover my previous passions.  I am hoping to connect with others who are going through, or have gone through a similar experience because I think only someone who has experienced this heartbreak can truly relate. This is a lonely, painful journey, and it helps to feel less alone.  Thank you again, WD.