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Author Topic: Road block every step we take.  (Read 382 times)
Panshekay
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Inlaw
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 223



« on: September 01, 2017, 05:14:43 PM »

So let's talk about another road block... .met with SGD CASA yesterday who told me to have our son prepared for court in April, because it's going to get bad, really bad... .no details though. I would imagine it's due to our sons 7th allegation being founded for child abuse... .CASA lady told me she doubted when our son appealed it that Salem even looked at his appeal... .did you know when you appeal something the person that LOOKS at the appeal WORKS for dhs?  Yep, they do.

So our son is going to sue dhs. He asked his divorce attorney to recommend someone, she did BUT that attorney can't take his case... .conflict of interest. So he finds another attorney... .3 hours away, 350.00 consult fee... .calls them to sch consult, they can't take his case... .they have attorneys out.  Every step we take there is a freakin road block.  My DIL and her D decided on our sons dime (insurance) to get braces for their teeth.  The orthodontist they are both seeing (by no mistake I'm sure of it)  is the husband of the judge in our SGD case against our son in Sept and their divorce/ custody case in April... .how is that NOT a conflict of interest?  And YES they are aware of it!  I feel like I'm living in the twilight zone. 

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SES
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Posts: 332


« Reply #1 on: September 02, 2017, 02:01:55 AM »

It does sound like an alternative reality. How can a case be heard by a judge, when the judge's wife is involved with some of the people in the case? To me, it is outrageous.

From experience, I get a sense that my ex is so manipulative that professionals appear willing to behave in a manner that Is unprofessional or possibly illegal. For example, the headteacher at my children's school has given therapy to my daughter (then 5) twice without my knowledge or consent. I complained the first time, and whilst the school dealt with my complaint he had in fact engaged her with another counselling company without telling the complaints panel or me.  There are lots more incidents. And like you, I feel I am in the twilight zone.  

All I can say is keep fighting.
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Panshekay
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Inlaw
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 223



« Reply #2 on: September 02, 2017, 09:43:37 AM »

Thank you SES... .our 6 yo GS has seen two T, our son is not allowed to be involved. The most recent T won't meet with him because she said legally she can't. I say BS. I told our S to get another counselor and pay for it privately... .because our sons insurance isn't going to pay for two T. The only reason our son even knows about this T is because he got the bill from his insurance with the T name on it. It's unbelievable. Short of threatening to jump off a building how in the heck do we get someone to do something?  Honestly, HOW do we get someone to right all these wrongs. The poor CASA lady now says her hands are tied, she stated that the person in Salem who left the false allegation as founded said "ya, he had a right to have his side heard, it doesn't look like that happened, it was a one sided investigation".  But they leave it "founded"? What sort of crooked world do we live in?  My DIL has our son who is paying for insurance even for his SD who has a bio dad, all the day care, and every single thing that she still purchases but doesn't pay so it goes to collections... .and they garnish our S paycheck!... .no one cares that he is legally separated. A $3,000.00 vacuum she buys but doesnt pay for, so his paycheck is garnished.  My DIL has a supposed fiancĂ© who is paying her rent, just bought her a new car and is paying for her attorney... .ugh... .so over all this.
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david
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 4365


« Reply #3 on: September 02, 2017, 11:42:54 AM »

My ex filed a petition to have me vacated from our house. It was denied. The next day the police show up with ex and tell me I have 15 minutes to gather my things and leave. Ex convinced the police that a judge does not need to sign the petition to make it legal. I literally called my attorney in the driveway and explained what was going on. I handed the phone to the police and my attorney had to explain to the police. The officer talked to ex and ex simply said , "I'm sorry, I must have made a mistake."
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ForeverDad
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: separated 2005 then divorced
Posts: 18201


You can't reason with the Voice of Unreason...


« Reply #4 on: September 02, 2017, 12:09:24 PM »

I had been separated for over 3 months when I received a recertification letter from my insurance... .for my son's therapy coverage, unknown to me until then.  To a small extent I can't blame them, the magistrate had given temp custody to my ex (who from Nov to Mar was facing a charge of Threat of DV and was not allowed near our home) because I went off 5 days a week to work a regular job while she didn't.

What I don't excuse is that they stonewalled me for over a year before I got a court order to see his records (which the court had repeatedly stated I had statutory access to anyway).  They still insisted I had to get my ex's permission for joining sessions since the magistrate never changed the temp order.  Like that would ever happen.  I do believe the custody evaluator spoke with them because they did let me come see my son while he was in their preschool.  But they were very circumspect about it, I'm sure they didn't want to admit to anything that would invite litigation against them.

I recall that at one point, since I wasn't allowed to participate in the quasi-agency's therapy, I contacted a highly recommended counselor for him.  She declined saying a child can't have two counselors, they might give differing counsel.  It hurt, it left me feeling helpless to improve things at that point.

Regarding the orthodontist, is this the only orthodontist in the area?  If they make the claim that was the only one available, either by location or by insurance, then be prepared with the names and addresses of other orthodontists that could have been chosen.
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Panda39
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
Relationship status: SO and I have been together 9 years and have just moved in together this summer.
Posts: 3462



« Reply #5 on: September 02, 2017, 12:35:23 PM »

Hang in there... .to me the first step is finding an attorney to represent your son... .then you can take on everything else, including the conflict of interest with the judge  .

Were any of the attorney's that couldn't take your son's case able to suggest someone else who might be good? Has the CASA worked with any attorneys that she might recommend? Any friends with suggestions?  What about an attorney that specializes in the rights of men? I think your son needs to meet with several attorneys and see how they would approach the case.  Do you think the attorneys he met with were honest about case load or might have not wanted to take on DHS?

Panda39

Panda39
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"Have you ever looked fear in the face and just said, I just don't care" -Pink
Panshekay
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Inlaw
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 223



« Reply #6 on: September 02, 2017, 01:51:02 PM »

Gosh, David... .that is quite a story. Amazing that they get away with so much. Thanks for sharing that. FoeverDad and Panda39 I always look forward to your reply.  FoeverDad, no... .he is not the only Orthodontist in town. This is how it plays out... .she says something and they believe it... .I don't care who it is, Caseworkers, Judges, Doctors, Counselors, GAL... .no questions asked. I fact check for a living, I always check the facts. I'm sure everyone appreciates that since I work in the medical field. I am mindful, I have integrity, I never take anyone's "word for it"  I do MY job like I want others to do their jobs.  Does that make me a stickler and a "B" probably... .but I don't care, why?  Because I am doing what is right, what is right for my patients.  When someone has the power to play God, when they can destroy someone's life I feel it is their DUTY and obligation to check facts and make sure they have both sides of the story BEFORE they make a decision that affects someone else's life.  Panda39, yes he did ask about other attorneys, that's how he got the fist 2. Our daughter is a Paralegal, she gave us another name, but this person is 6 hours away with a 500.00 consult fee... .which he is going to call on Tue.  I am so disheartened... .I walk a fine line with losing it. Our S is a very nice man, way too nice, when things don't go right he shuts down, much like his son... .but I on the other hand fight harder... .I guess we make a good team. I so wish I was younger, I would be a people's advocate and fight all this BS in the world. I can't tell you all how much having your support means to me... .when I say you save my life I'm not sure you realize I am dead serious. Thank you.
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