Can't do right for doing wrong

[Parents! Get help here!]

Hi! For the last 12 years of her life, my husband and I noticed a change in our daughter from the age of, say, 16, when she seemed to have a "light bulb" moment and something in her just changed. Until then she was the perfect daughter. Since then she has overdosed  3 times and hospitalised once whilst my husband was alive, and again recently since he passed nearly 4 years ago. I am struggling to handle her venomous verbal attacks, her degradation of her siblings and even her small sons. The slightest positive comment about anyone else triggers off one of her "episodes". It seems like I am the verbal brunt of everything and she cannot seem to handle not being the absolute centre of attention - example being her sister is due to get married and she takes another overdose? It's like I cannot give my other children any positive attention without her bringing everyone down to her level and getting the attention back on Her? I am at the end of my tether and getting it from both sides - her siblings now have no time for her at all and if it wasn't for her children, (they are 9 and 7) they wouldn't bother with her, and I sometime feel like that myself. She is my daughter and I love her but I can't seem to be the person she wants me to be.
I need to know this is "normal" or I think I will be the one under the doctors supervison!  I have no idea at all how to handle the situation anymore, especially now that I don't have my husband's support. Looking for answers, or at least to know I'm not alone! Many thanks for reading this.

[Skivvy]

Hi! For the last 12 years of her life, my husband and I noticed a change in our daughter from the age of, say, 16, when she seemed to have a "light bulb" moment and something in her just changed. Until then she was the perfect daughter. Since then she has overdosed  3 times and hospitalised once whilst my husband was alive, and again recently since he passed nearly 4 years ago. I am struggling to handle her venomous verbal attacks, her degradation of her siblings and even her small sons. The slightest positive comment about anyone else triggers off one of her "episodes". It seems like I am the verbal brunt of everything and she cannot seem to handle not being the absolute centre of attention - example being her sister is due to get married and she takes another overdose? It's like I cannot give my other children any positive attention without her bringing everyone down to her level and getting the attention back on Her? I am at the end of my tether and getting it from both sides - her siblings now have no time for her at all and if it wasn't for her children, (they are 9 and 7) they wouldn't bother with her, and I sometime feel like that myself. She is my daughter and I love her but I can't seem to be the person she wants me to be.
I need to know this is "normal" or I think I will be the one under the doctors supervison!  I have no idea at all how to handle the situation anymore, especially now that I don't have my husband's support. Looking for answers, or at least to know I'm not alone! Many thanks for reading this.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[inthestacks]

Hi, Skivvy.  I just recently joined this site, and my heart goes out to you.  Our daughter was about the same age when things started to go sideways, and have gotten progressively worse.  I have no solutions, just understanding and empathy.  While our daughter has not overdosed (I can't imagine how scary that must be for you!) I do know that I have learned to be very careful about what I say about my other kids to my daughter.  I see my kids growing further and further apart, and it is heartbreaking.  Like I said, I have no brilliant advice or fixes, but I am learning that taking care of ourselves is very important, and knowing that you are not alone is part of that.  You are not alone.  Please know that.