My adult daughter has BPD

[Battered]

Since birth, my daughter has been a handful. She is brilliant, professionally achieved but her personal life is a disaster. She started blaming me for "things" for the past 6 years (when she moved away for her higher educational degree). She would call me once a week to go off on me. Somehow, she made me feel guilty about how I raised her so I would either fight back or take it. Then she moved back   about two years ago. It has been a living hell since then! She set about polarizing her siblings against me... .at times it worked (which just broke my heart). All of a suden they would be raving mad at me for no reason. We would talk and eventually, they figured out the "truth from lies". I kept it all inside and hid her behaviour until a few months ago... .This was so hard for me to do... .to quit covering for her. One of my other daughters found the book "Stop Walking on Eggshells" and suggested I get it. It came in a few days ago. It has really opened my eyes to her behaviour and my behaviour towards her. I'm hoping that with time, I will heal from the abuse she has caused. It still breaks my heart that she has this disorder... .but now that I understand it, maybe it won't be so painful.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Lollypop]

Hi there battered

Welcome. Your name says it perfectly. It's a truly horrible feeling when a child lashes out with accusations. It's very tough to hear never mind accept that they have a certain view that can't be altered by anyone but themselves. I'm so sorry about your situation, having your kids listen and then turn must have felt terrible. It sounds like you've got a few things settled now and that's a bit of s relief. Also, that you've got  one child who's maturely seeking some answers and recommending the book (great book by the way!)?

You're totally right in that learning all you can about BPD will help you not feel so much pain. In fact, the knowledge gained provides both power and understanding of their behaviours.

It'd be good to know a little more about your situation but only if you feel ready. Take a look at the top right hand side of this page and read about BPD. Any questions, musings or if you feel the need to vent you can do so safely. We are here to help one another.

Hug to you. I'm glad you found us.

A quick question; does your daughter live with you or is she fully independent?

LP