You're living in a house with one, likely two. That's a tremendous amount of stress, especially being tasked to be a House Mother.
Taking care of ourselves is legitimate for anybody. A pwBPD won't likely see it that way because they don't respect boundaries between people, focused on their own needs, emotional and physical.
I had no choice when sent to family therapy by my mother when I was 12. I had a choice, but still went to couple's counseling by my uBPDx as an adult.
Even given the disordered person's behavior, there are things we can do to help reduce conflict on our side. This isn't "blaming the victim" but rather coming to terms with the fact that the other party may be "limited" as my T said. Have you seen this discussion? What can you take out of it?
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