Mom of BPD Teenager and Scared to death

[IndyMom]

I'm a mom of a 15 year old boy who has been evaluated and likely has BPD. He is also gay and non-binary. I spend my days terrified of what the night will bring and my nights tossing and turning restlessly.

He is failing in school. Says it "doesn't matter." He attempted suicide - or at least took several pills - earlier this fall though he says he didn't really want to kill himself.

My husband and I are at our wit's end trying to motivate him. He sees a counselor every other week and it in a DBT group for teens weekly. He hates this group.

I've read Stop Walking on Eggshells and it was revelatory for me. I'm trying desperately to not react to every little thing. Mainly, I'm seeking advice on the school issues and how best to motivate a kid who just doesn't seem to give a darn about anything other than immediate gratification.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[MomMae]

Hello IndyMom, and welcome, although I am so sorry for what brings you here.  I can feel your anguish and can so relate to your explanation of the terrifying thoughts that haunt you night and day.

I hope that knowing that others do understand and are going through similar heartbreak with our own children brings some comfort.

The tools on the right are so helpful in teaching us the best way to interact and react with our BPD children.  When you have the time, I would highly recommend perusing them.

I am glad you have found this forum.  Please keep posting.  You are not alone.    MomMae

[red35]

I read your post and I am in the same boat. My son is 14 and is gay and says he is gender fluid. He also is diagnosed with bulimia.  He hasn't been doing as good as he could in school as well. He seems to love attention, such as telling me he's not going to eat and then I tell him yes he is. Then we argue a little more, then I get tired of fighting it and say "ok, don't eat" Then he declares I don't care or love him! He constantly makes fun of his little sister and bullies her. I am new to this whole thing as well. I understand your statement that you spend your days terrified and your nights tossing and turning scared of every little noise , afraid that your child is trying to hurt himself. My son has been in the hospital 4 times for suicidal ideation with one time where he attempted 3x. Do you just feel exhausted? We are currently going to counseling 1x week.