Need help for (step)kids with BPD mom

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

Good Afternoon,

I am hoping to get support for myself and my husband as we try to support my husband's children. My husband has been effectively alienated from his children's lives (it's been a long road, but just last week the children have completely sided with mom and refuse to come over). We are hoping to gain a psych evaluation by our State's child protective organization or the courts, and praying the light be shone on our family dynamics and an accurate picture is seen by resources who could help us. The hope is that her disorder is diagnosed and changes are made to protect our kids.

I'm wondering if anyone else has had experience with this. We're hesitant to come out and suggest BPD or Parental Alienation to any provider because we think it would make us look bad. I'm guessing we need to be specific about examples to the provider, in hopes that the examples will lead them to the diagnosis and action to protect the kids. Any thoughts?

It all seems so bleek. Our only hope now is that God will grant a miracle, give mercy to my step-kids, and the providers we speak with will have favor on us and the kids.

Thanks in advance!

[StepmomIncognito]

Good Afternoon,

I am hoping to get support for myself and my husband as we try to support my husband's children. My husband has been effectively alienated from his children's lives (it's been a long road, but just last week the children have completely sided with mom and refuse to come over). We are hoping to gain a psych evaluation by our State's child protective organization or the courts, and praying the light be shone on our family dynamics and an accurate picture is seen by resources who could help us. The hope is that her disorder is diagnosed and changes are made to protect our kids.

I'm wondering if anyone else has had experience with this. We're hesitant to come out and suggest BPD or Parental Alienation to any provider because we think it would make us look bad. I'm guessing we need to be specific about examples to the provider, in hopes that the examples will lead them to the diagnosis and action to protect the kids. Any thoughts?

It all seems so bleek. Our only hope now is that God will grant a miracle, give mercy to my step-kids, and the providers we speak with will have favor on us and the kids.

Thanks in advance!

[Turkish]

How old are the kids, what's the custody arrangement,  and what types of behaviors do they exhibit which lead you to suspect alienation?

There is a lot of info in the second pinned link at the top of the board: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=182254.0

We can help narrow it down (I know it's a lot of info).

Turkish

[livednlearned]

IWe're hesitant to come out and suggest BPD or Parental Alienation to any provider because we think it would make us look bad. I'm guessing we need to be specific about examples to the provider, in hopes that the examples will lead them to the diagnosis and action to protect the kids. Any thoughts?

Do you know what kind of alienating techniques the BPD parent is using?

The one thing I was told is that kids who are genuinely abused by a parent (whether emotional, psychological, physical) tend to still want a relationship with that parent. Even kids who are sexually molested or physically abused. And with parental alienation, the kids will reject not only the alienated parent, but anything associated with that parent.

SO's youngest (S19) experienced alienating behaviors from his uBPD mom, and went from rejecting SO to even rejecting the dog that S19 helped pick out and train. Suddenly, the dog was needy and S19 wanted nothing to do with him.

Have you read any of Dr. Craig Childress's work on alienation? I wonder if there are recommendations in his work about how to talk to third-party professionals?

[kells76]

Try this article for some suggestions on how to discuss the behaviors you're seeing with professionals:

www.drcachildress.org/asp/admin/getFile.asp?RID=63&TID=6&FN=pdf