We can do it

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

About a month LC and couple weeks NC. Every day stinks but every day gets a little easier even if only a smidge. Get active, meditate, read (but I find continuing to read about her and her issues keeps me swirling, so read about yourself), go out with friends (but be warned if you're out looking for a new parntner even if you're with a group of friends you probably aren't ready and will end up leaving early, so just go with the expectation of having fun), and stop drinking or seeking refuge in another chemical.  It may only serve to weaken your resolve and you may likely end up ruminating hard and breaking NC. Mine emails me every few days and it goes right to trash, she is blocked on phone/text.
Stay strong peeps we got this.

[Aiko]

About a month LC and couple weeks NC. Every day stinks but every day gets a little easier even if only a smidge. Get active, meditate, read (but I find continuing to read about her and her issues keeps me swirling, so read about yourself), go out with friends (but be warned if you're out looking for a new parntner even if you're with a group of friends you probably aren't ready and will end up leaving early, so just go with the expectation of having fun), and stop drinking or seeking refuge in another chemical.  It may only serve to weaken your resolve and you may likely end up ruminating hard and breaking NC. Mine emails me every few days and it goes right to trash, she is blocked on phone/text.
Stay strong peeps we got this.

[Shoct]

Hi Aiko,

This was helpful to read. You sound like you are staying strong, that is highly commendable.

I might have already read and forgot, but, how long were you two together?

And, just as I am trying to better understand my own current situation, how would you feel if your ex stopped contacting you? I know you are immediately deleting the messages... .but what if there was nothing to delete?

Would this be easier or harder?

[Aiko]

Year half/2 years, somewhere around there.
How would I feel - I have thought about it often lately, and she will stop. She has plenty of suitors, dresses the part, and rebounded two weeks after I left her for last time. And when they end she will line up another before or after him keeping me off her radar.  In other words plenty of places for her to get her juice so to speak, including her past exes who are back in the picture.  She will take path of least resistance is guess.
So I'm mixed--- sad a year+ was a waste, sad we will never talk again, sad she will forever think I left because she thinks I didn't love her, never cared, used her  etc... .things she has actually said to me. Ignored when I would tell her what I was experwincing with her and what her outbursts and actions were really causing But I'll be happy also when she doesn't email anymore, it will speed the healing further and cement what she was. A very hard lesson.
I know I sound like I have this whipped, I know I don't.  Positive self talk and optimism.  Gotta be worth something.