Confused—dont know if i have the self esteem left to work it out

[Confused88]

I have been in relationship with a man who its been suggested is BPD.  Ive read walking on eggshells, and i dont know if i have the self esteem left to work it out ,

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[zachira]

You said you don't know if you have the self esteem to work it out. I once had a relationship with an abusive man. I noticed that my self esteem got worse and worse as the relationship went on, and it made it harder to get out. The abuse also escalated as the relationship went on. You might want to consider going to therapy. Therapists are different from counselors. Therapists help people to strengthen their sense of self and make decisions. A therapist is not supposed to advise you on whether to stay or leave a relationship, because you are the expert on who you are, and there is often a great deal of pain involved in leaving a relationship. Only you know when it is time to leave. Also, it strengthens your self esteem if you decided on your own to leave, or stay. It can be harmful to self esteem to leave a relationship or to stay in a relationship to please other people who are telling you what to do. Keep us posted and let us know how we can help! It is normal to feel confused about what to do.

[Mutt]

Hi confused88,



I’d like tojo Nzachita and welcome you to bpdfamily. A pwBPD will mostly say negative things about you and it takes it toll on you it doesn’t paint an accurate picture of who you are because it’s distortion hearing that can make you feel more anxious and depressed. It helps to talk to others like your family and friends and a support group to get that positive and more realistic feedback about yourself.

Can you give us a back story?