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Skills we were never taught
98
A 3 Minute Lesson
on Ending Conflict
Communication Skills-
Don't Be Invalidating
Listen with Empathy -
A Powerful Life Skill
Setting Boundaries
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Author Topic: My BPD girlfriend wont talk to me.  (Read 590 times)
Totkhuma
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 1


« on: March 16, 2018, 10:32:37 PM »

Hey guys,
So   its been a few days since we had a little argument. It wasnt a bad fight of any sort but she got really angry. 
What happened was that my actions reminded her of the things she wouod rather forget.
I know thats a big sin  for a BPD but it was never intentional.
Since then  she has barely been talking,replies late to my texts when she does leaves with one word  which mostly has no meaning. Been a few days like that.
I wanted to know what should i do when she does reply like  talk to her like nothings wrong, make her talk bout the problems or go in wagging my tail trynna get her back.

Also she dropped out of therapy saying it did good and anti deppressants made it worse for her making her feel numb. What are ur thoughts on that is she valid to say that  or just a false thought.
 And any idea how to convince her to go back to therapy.(dropped out a few months ago)

Info:been with her for over a year and half now.  She really made progress  with herself. She has always been supportive   and caring, had her swing but this feels different.
Hope to hear back soon.
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RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING
This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

Turkish
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
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Relationship status: "Divorced"/abandoned by SO in Feb 2014; Mother with BPD, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety: RIP in 2021.
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« Reply #1 on: March 16, 2018, 11:03:05 PM »

Hi Totkhuma,

Welcome

I get the resistance to meds. My BPD mother had issues with them,  and my uBPDx refused to take them,  despite her T encouraging it. 

I'd back away from pushing her back into therapy for now.  A core feeling of pwBPD is shame: "I'm worthless and no one can love me."

I'd focus on the incident and try to validate.  We have a lot of tools here which can help like:

https://bpdfamily.com/content/ending-conflict

SET is the most basic tool which we can learn. 

And to expand upon that:
1.12 | Validation - examples]

What was the argument about?

T
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Tattered Heart
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« Reply #2 on: March 20, 2018, 02:22:50 PM »

Any updates? Have you heard from your gf?
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Mutt
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« Reply #3 on: March 21, 2018, 09:26:48 AM »

Hi Totkhuma,

Welcome

I’d like to join the others and welcome you to bpdfamily. How long was she taking the meds it takes a 6 to 8 weeks to feel the full effects of anti depressants. It took me about 6 weeks. I just wanted to say that r/s schools are good to practice even in the good times. I hope to read more of your posts  Being cool (click to insert in post)
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