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Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits. Practicing lawyer, Senior Family Mediator, and former Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience and an expert on navigating the Family Court process.
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Author Topic: No i can't have coffee tonite  (Read 612 times)
juju2
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 1137



« on: March 29, 2018, 09:10:18 PM »

Hi family,

I think that something huge happened w me.

Tonite, after talking w my s.o.

I actually was able to say, I can't have coffee, an not feeling that great.

He said, ok, maybe another time.

For me it's a victory.
Thank you,  juju

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pearlsw
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
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"Be kind whenever possible, it is always possible"


« Reply #1 on: March 30, 2018, 04:41:16 AM »

Hi juju,

How are you feeling about this victory? Did it feel right? Why? How do you continue this success?

warmly, pearl.
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Walk on a rainbow trail, walk on a trail of song, and all about you will be beauty. There is a way out of every dark mist, over a rainbow trail. - Navajo Song
juju2
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« Reply #2 on: March 30, 2018, 05:56:49 AM »

Hi P

I was able to be honest.  The old me would have gone just to see him.

He asked if he could call... .for a few minutes... .
I said sure, and on the phone right now, could i call when am done?

That's new too, because usually I would get off the phone if he called... .the few minutes turned out to be 26 minutes, we had a great conversation!

Am feeling everything, and am happy that am being true to myself.

Thank you for asking,

juju

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dadoftwogirls

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« Reply #3 on: March 30, 2018, 09:03:04 AM »

Juju,
 
     I'm happy for you; I think that its important that we celebrate the small things on this road that we all travel. I'm glad that you were able to stand up for yourself in this situation.
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Radcliff
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 3377


Fond memories, fella.


« Reply #4 on: March 30, 2018, 09:53:58 AM »

juju,

I am so happy to hear this news!  It is amazing to start having boundaries, find ourselves, and express our needs and desires after going so long pushing them away trying to keep the situation calm!  Seems like the new way might be a great way to go from now on, huh? Smiling (click to insert in post)

WW
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juju2
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 1137



« Reply #5 on: March 30, 2018, 10:06:12 AM »

Thank you everyone.
 
It's just better for me to know what works.

Pause before I say.

Be honest.

It FEELS GOOD.  That part is unexpected... .

I don't feel desperate.  Something in me has gotten confidence.  My friend said my energy has changed.

when I told him i couldn't go for coffee last nite, I actually couldnt believe I said it, almost took it back... !

These changes we make, I make, don't feel normal to me, it feels abnormal.  I am looking to get a new normal, and it's ok if it all feels weird for a while.

And I am doing excellent self care, that's making a difference in my life.

Wednesday nite, went to a womens' sweat lodge.
Had the best time w all these ladies, felt healing from that, inhaling healing steam, sweated out toxins.

Appreciate each one of you.

juju

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