My first post~all of this hurts my heart - I'm here to learn

[Parents! Get help here!]

Hi Everyone! I am a single parent to a 21 yr old daughter.  A few years ago she was diagnosed as "possibly" being BPD. I always knew we had our ups and downs but I thought that was like most mother/daughter relationships. I felt that being a single parent, of course she would blame me for everything. When she was 10-12 years old is when she first started talking about suicide and I took her to the hospital, I had her committed for three days, I kept telling everyone that I thought it had to do with her menstrual cycle... .no one would listen, no OB/GYN would see her unless she was having sex! I finally found a dr who was willing to see her and they did blood work and she did have an estrogen issue, she was put on medicine and things did get better but the last few years have been sad. very sad. I do not know what to do for her, she does go to a psychiatrist once a week. I had to call the police the other night and EMS since she stabbed herself... .she said she stabbed herself so she would not hurt me. All of this hurts my heart for her so now I am just trying to learn as much as I can to help her.

[gagwinus]

Hi Everyone! I am a single parent to a 21 yr old daughter.  A few years ago she was diagnosed as "possibly" being BPD. I always knew we had our ups and downs but I thought that was like most mother/daughter relationships. I felt that being a single parent, of course she would blame me for everything. When she was 10-12 years old is when she first started talking about suicide and I took her to the hospital, I had her committed for three days, I kept telling everyone that I thought it had to do with her menstrual cycle... .no one would listen, no OB/GYN would see her unless she was having sex! I finally found a dr who was willing to see her and they did blood work and she did have an estrogen issue, she was put on medicine and things did get better but the last few years have been sad. very sad. I do not know what to do for her, she does go to a psychiatrist once a week. I had to call the police the other night and EMS since she stabbed herself... .she said she stabbed herself so she would not hurt me. All of this hurts my heart for her so now I am just trying to learn as much as I can to help her.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Ednamae]

Hello gagwinus!
I, too, am a single mom of a D21 with BPD. I am feeling your pain! I am so very sorry! I know how much it hurts! My daughter also says when she attempts suicide it's because she doesn't want to hurt me.
I have said for a couple of years now that I feel everything escalates when she is nearing  her menstrual cycle. I haven't had any testing as I also cannot get anyone to listen.
I wish I had answers for you. I'm fairly new here myself. I don't think I have a grip on any of this yet. It's such a hard place to be. But I hope we can find comfort and learn things from this.

[Faith Spring]

Hey Gagwinus, I'm so sorry - just reading your post I could feel how devastating that was for you, for both of you.  I do agree it's hard to get anyone to listen and help.  I'm new here like Ednamae, but I've found comfort here that I can't seem to get anywhere else.  My daughter is 17 and diagnosed with a personality disorder and I think it's BPD.  Seems like the docs are afraid to make this diagnosis early in life. 

Well I'm with you all the way, just a stranger from across the world somewhere who really hopes you make it through.  This place is safe and actually precious.   Please continue to share as you see fit.  You're not the only one. 

I also think it's hormonal.  It's got to have some impact. 

[Scout206]

Hello.  My thoughts on this topic: 
Hormonal cycles magnify and sometimes cause emotional difficulties in many people.  While I don't know if there is a hormonal role in the causes of BPD, I would guess that imbalances exacerbate the out of control emotions. 
Scout206

[Feeling Better]

I agree with Scout206 on this one that hormones can exacerbate the problem, I'm sure we've all heard of pre menstrual tension. Mix it in with BPD which is an emotional illness and the emotions will most certainly be heightened at that time of the month x